The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

My father would have given anything to not battle addiction. He tried, and tried again. When he told me he was clean, I knew he wanted to be, and we all prayed he would stay that way. But it never did last. Each time was harder. Still, I never gave up on him.
My father lost his battle four years ago. He came to terms that he no longer could take the battle he had to deal with every single day. He took his own life.
He was always loved. Always supported. He wanted it to be different.
Addiction affects young, old, all races, all ethnicities. It’s the hardest battle to fight. But we will continue the fight for him.

Too many to name, and too many pictures to post to show how the horrors of addiction claiming so many! Families and children so broken the same and opioids are to blame. This is beginning of much needed American change.

Don Wan, Eric H. This is going out to you.

My wife Jen was the kindest most loving mother, wife, daughter, and friend. She is my soulmate and the world definitely is a worse place without her presence in it. She struggled with addiction for almost 30 years. She experienced so many horrible things in her life that fed her addiction and self loathing. But those things were not who she truly was... she was and remains the kindest most beautiful and loving human being I have ever known and she inspires me to be a better man every moment of every day. When her daughter asked me what I would miss most about her mom, my answer was simple: everything. I love you Jennifer, I love you yesterday, I love you today, I love you tomorrow, I love you eternally.

Joshua always liked to have fun plans, even as a child he would always want to have something to look forward to.  I used to call him my wild child.  He was an avid basketball player and loved the NY Knicks.  He was also a huge Yankee fan and Giants fan. Josh was in his senior year at college when the demon alcohol and pills took his life. My world has been turned upside down. He was my first born child of four, his brother and sisters miss him tremendously, as does his dad. I miss the love he showed me and his big smile. I miss him every minute of every day! I feel blessed to have had him in my life and pray he continues to send me signs.  We love you and miss you Josh!

FOREVER IN OUR HEARTS

Kace was a much-loved son, daddy, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin and friend. He cannot be defined by the heroin addiction that he despised and struggled to overcome. Many will judge, but those are the ones that don't understand what a powerful demon he was fighting! His family's hope is that his strong spirit and strength will be transferred to the recipients of his life-saving organs!

Thomas was very athletic and loved skateboarding, baseball and basketball and he loved drawing. He was a wonderful child. He had good grades. Then 10th grade came and everything started going downhill. He stopped going to school and this started his addictions. Then we battled the addiction through many rehabs. I suffered with him through the years and all the trouble that came with the demons of addiction. He was 17 months clean as of October 2017. He went out and made a bad decision and now my son is gone. His family loves him and misses him every day. I hope he’s at peace but I am still suffering. Love you, my son
Thomas’ mom forever ❤️😇

My Loving daughter Martine passed away in 2013 from substance use disorder at the age of 26. Her friends called her Teeny because she was a little thing, but she was bigger than life! She was a kind and generous,loving and adventurous young lady that would give the shirt off her back. Anyone that knew her loved her. She love music and she loved to help people. She went as far as Rwanda to volunteer to help people struggling with AIDs.

Martine always wanted to help people, and she loved life so I believe even in her death she’s helping making a difference. We will no longer hide the disease she had, we will talk about it we will share the devastating struggles. We will put a face to the beautiful people that struggle from this disease. We need more help, we need more answers, and different treatments ! I believe the way we get that is by talking about it and not hiding it. So in Martine’s name we speak about the addiction.

To the mom I will never have,

May 5, 2018 - the day you lost your battle with opiates. I knew this day would come, but it is still harder than I imagined it. I wish this was just a bad dream, but it isn't. I wish this wasn't the ending of your story.

I wish you had never taken that first drink. I wish you had never taken that first pain pill. I wish you didn't let your addictions get the best of you. I wish you had reached out. I wish you knew that suicide wasn't the answer. You battled depression and addictions for so long, and for that I am so, so sorry. I wish your story was different.

Thank you for teaching me the importance of hard work. Thank you for instilling in me the love of animals. Thank you for teaching me to always take time to laugh. Thank you for teaching me the importance of life and clinging to the things that matter most. Most importantly, thank you for showing me that our greatest need in life is Jesus, and I hope you really are with Him in heaven.

I'm glad I knew you before you weren't you. May you rest in peace. I love you.

Ryan Matthew Potratz died unexpectedly in the early hours of the morning on December 4, 2017.

Ryan Potratz was born January 6th, 1992 in Burlington, IA

Ryans passion during his life involved anything with graphic design and photography. Ryan was often found doodling, drawing, painting, and listening to music. He loved taking pictures of the sky no matter the weather. He spent his spare time playing video games like World of Warcraft and Runescape.

Ryan was a kind soul who helped anyone in need. He cherished his close friends, family, and loved ones, and especially his dog, Max. His free spirit will always be fondly remembered by those who knew him.

We refer to him as our shooting star, his spirit burned so brightly but was gone so fast.

Our prayer for Ryan:
I weep, but not for me. I weep for all the tomorrow’s that you will never see. It’s not my loss that makes me sad. It’s thinking what you never had.

Miss you everyday Ryan. Love Mom, Dad, Sis and Max.

Rachel had a soul full of humor, love and talent. She had a voice of the most passionate singer and taught herself to play piano. She wrote her own songs. She sang and played all the time. She drew pictures that amazed me and kept journals that I still have. These journals encompass her life, her fears and her addiction. She was also a very sensitive person. Rachel had sensitivities to loud sounds, bright lights, smells, and food. As young as 7 years old her teacher told me she felt Rachel should be taking a medication to help her focus in school. I delayed that outcome as long as I could. As she became older Rachel developed extreme anxieties about school. She went to psychologists who put her on anxiety pills. I feel Rachel was groomed to believe the answer was in a pill. She began to take other pills like "oxy" and "Molly". Then she was using heroin which she overdosed on and died. I talk with her often and feel her close. She lives everyday within my heart... I love you Rachi Bear

Always loved going to the Dodgers games, the bars. He was one of my best friends he was like a brother to me always making me laugh always been a great time with HIM he was always everywhere with me

Nick struggled for 9 years with his addiction. There were periods were he was sober and not using. He had a total of 5 overdose with the 5 being the fatal one that took his life. At that time he had 9 months in with not using. He had start a new job and they want to promote him after only 3 weeks. He had order seeds for his garden and was excited about what his was going to plant. Thing I miss most is him telling me he loves me when he left the house. Our house is so much quieter without him. Love you Nick, the dyed and barefoot.

My mom struggled with addiction for a big part of her life. She didn't have the best childhood which led to a lot of the issues she had in adulthood. In 1999 she got hooked on crystal meth for a few years. After that it changed who she was. When my mama was on that horrible drug she was a person I didn't know. Mind you I was thirteen at the time. She would be the meanest person in the world then the next minute she was the most kind loving woman. It took her a while to get off the drugs. But when she did she just traded one addiction for another one which was pills. And that addiction never ended. In January of 2017 her boyfriend died of a blood clot to the heart. And that set off the events leading to her death. They were together for about 6 years. He was good to her but sadly like many others in my mama life turn the other cheek to what she was doing. Halfway through that year her dad passed away which whom she was estranged from. Coincidentally he left her approximately 12 grand. She got the money 3 weeks before her death. That afforded her to get more and more of her pills and alcohol. And there was no shortage of so-called friends at her side. I noticed a dramatic change in her. It was like she could no longer hide the fact of her addiction to opioids. Even tho she still denied it. The day she died she called me that afternoon. I could tell in her voice she was on something and I was in a rush to go to work and I kinda blew her off. I got off work that night and I watched a bit of tv and was getting ready for bed when I heard a knock at the door. It was do surreal to hear my uncle say the words your mama is gone. He drove me to her house where she still lay face down on her couch cuddled to a pillow. Finally, her mind was at rest. Pills finally took my mama. And I pray her story will help anyone out there struggling with addiction.

The word heroin gives me the chills. The word heroin reminds me of the pain I feel for the sister I lost due to this horrible epidemic. My sister was only 35 years old when she lost her life. She was a mother of 6 and loved her kids so much. She was the middle child and was so ditsy. She was what I would call the biggest hypochondriac. My sister loved EVERYONE and everyone loved her. Jasmine battled so long with her demons. She was so brave and went through so much hell during her time on this earth. Addiction sucks. I miss her. What I wouldn't give to see her one more time. 💔

Ali Brown lived a life full of laughter, adventure, and bravery. Her laugh was infectious and to this day as I sit here I can hear that laugh so vividly in my mind. She never stopped searching for adventure, whether that was a nightly cruise around the city, a trip to Six Flags, or the latest gossip it was all exciting to her. She was brave in every situation she was thrown into even when she didn't believe she had anything left inside of her. When she was a senior in high school she became pregnant with her son and through every distraction and every doubt she had in her mind she used all of her bravery to walk across the stage, 8 months pregnant, and receive her diploma with her family cheering her on every step of the way. In that moment she was her own hero and she was her child's hero. When the drug use began it was apparent that she had let her bravery slip and decided that drugs would take its place. She was lost and depressed BUT in that time of turmoil in her life drugs never defined Ali Brown. Drugs were never something that dimmed her shine and she definitely didn't allow anything to get in the way of her passion for life. Through nursing school, raising a curly headed crazy little boy, various job opportunities, and the inevitable hardships throughout she always fought. I think it is important to understand that although drugs were a part of her life, they weren't apart of her make-up. She made a life for herself and her son and she continued to do so until she couldn't any more. We love you so much Ali Renee!

Cassidy was beautiful, funny, sweet, and most of all, kind. Sometimes to a fault. She was the essence of the saying, "give you the shirt off her back," even when she had no other. She loved animals. She loved chocolate. She loved tiramisu and The Walking Dead TV show. She loved the Twilight series. She loved doing hair and being a hair-dresser. She loved make-up - and helping people use make-up. She was really good at it. She loved the beach when it was a hot summer day. Most of all, more than anything else, she loved her children. And in spite of the times she really could not be a mom to her children—she loved them with all her heart. And, she made them perfect. She loved holidays! She loved making them special for her kids. She would shop and prepare and create surprises that brought joy to her children’s faces. She made them feel special. Her heart and her kindness will forever live on in those kids.

My mom was a hard worker and cared deepy for her kids. She tried many rehab programs but could not beat her addiction or take care of us or herself anymore. Her death is so painful at times, even now as I grow deeper into adulthood. She is missed more than she will ever know.

My sister, Holly, struggled with addiction almost half of her life. After being hit by a car in her early twenties she got hooked on pain pills. Years of being over-prescribed turned to heroin use. In 2016 she spent 3 months in the hospital after her organs were destroyed from her heroin use. Heart valves replaced, physical rehab, temporary dialysis, lung problems, we thought this would be the final straw for her to make a change. But her demons didn't stay away for long. She tried, really hard, to stay clean. She was tough, street-smart, a brown belt in karate, but addiction was the one thing that was no match for her. Finding a good treatment center that would take her was nearly impossible. And once she was out of the hospital and emerged in her old life again getting her to go to rehab was even more impossible.
She spent most of her life embarrassed and ashamed of her addiction. Hiding, being distant to avoid the shame. This stigma that she was afraid to face ultimately killed her. She passed away 4 months after her long hospital stay due to opioid use.
I miss her dearly. Her craziness and love for drama. Her loud mouth and love for celeb gossip. The things you take for granted when you think someone will be around forever.

Matthew was a wonderful boy right from birth. He was the type of baby every parent wish they had. Slept well, playful, just a happy boy all around. He did all the normal things babies do but always happy an with a smile. He played well with others, was gentle with animals and just a joy to have around. His dad and I divorced when he was just 2 and it was hard on him. When he was left at daycare or a friends to play he had to be constantly reminded that I'd be back to get him. His dads leaving left him with a fear of abondonment but we worked thru it an he was fine. He did well in school, was smart an had many friends. He was very well adjusted. I remarried when he was 6 and gave birth to his sister when he was 7. He adjusted very well to his new step dad an adored his sister. We moved from CT to FL after her birth an he adjusted well. He continued to do well in school, loved being a big brother an was happy to now have a dad who played ball with him, swam in the pool, went to the park, was just totally physically involved in his life unlike his biological dad wasn't. He flew back to CT on holidays, vacations an 2 months in the summer so he still kept a relationship with him who had also remarried an had children. He had a normal childhood involved in baseball at which he excelled, formed life long friendships which he still had when he passed, loved to swim, play basketball, watch wrestling, just a well rounded childhood. Even into his early teens he was respectful, worked a part time job an watched his sister after school while I worked. He was responsible and just a good kid. I think in his whole life he had 1 physical fight because he had to defend himself against a boy who attacked him. He wasn't a fighter even though he was physically fit he'd walk away or talk the other boy out of it. He did not like to fight. If he had to he could but would prefer not to. He helped out with chores an really was just a good kid. Of course he did child an teenage pranks but nothing hurtful. Things were so different at that time. In high school when drugs were around he tried them but it was just like a phase. He did get into smoking pot with his friends but it wasn't a problem. He didn't go to the drinking parties bc the few times he did drink he said he just didn't like it. I developed a drinking problem when he was in high school an I think my behaviors made him not want to drink. My marriage ended an I was left to raise them on my own while working 3 jobs. We had some very rough years, my marriage became violent, my drinking escalated an I threw my husband out. It was a very ugly time of my life that lasted 3 years an I got into recovery. Matt was 18, his girlfriend who was 16 became pregnant an she moved to her moms in CA. Matt wanted to be a dad to his son so he took a bus an moved to CA. Their relationsh didn't last so he got his own place out there an had his son on weekends. He would come to FL on vacation but was still mad at me for my drinking before he left so he wouldn't let me see his son. I had 4 years in recovery but he said he didn't trust me to not drink an did not want his son around me. I was devestated but i understood how he felt. I went back to school, got my degree an a great job. His sister an I were still living together an doing well. His sons mom started doing meth an he reached out to me for help. I thank god I was still clean an sober an could be there for him. He hired an attorney an won sole custody an allowed me into my grandsons life. He even flew him from CA to FL to spend 2 weeks with me. He met a new girl in college becoming a vet an married her. We flew out to CA an attended their wedding when she graduated with her doctorate. It was wonderful an were a family again. He had a great job in Sacramento but he left it when she took a position in a vet practice 400 miles away. Its so hard to condense all these years together an it sounds so jumbled. Meanwhile his sister got involved with pills, went thru treatment here in FL an moved to CA with them for a new start. Matt had surgery on his knee from a basketball injury but recivered nicely. His sister was working an doing well helping out with Kyle when Matt injured his back an needed surgery an was out of work for 6 months. At some point his wife started drinking socially an then it turned to drinking like an alcoholic. Matt needed a 2nd back surgery an this time they kept him on pain meds much longer. It was over a year before they stopped prescribing them but by then it was too late. He turned to buying them on the street. He couldn't stop but didn't want to go into treatment.it became a mess. His sister moved back to FL with me, he continued to buy pills on the street an his wife had an affair. He was a functioning addict as long as he had pills but he was needing more an more. He stayed with his wife hoping she'd stop drinking but she didnt think she had a problem. My heart was broken because I know I'm powerless over someone else's addiction. He finally decided to get on subuxone to quit the pills an to leave his wife. He left his beautiful home an all his possessions, gatheredup his sons things, packed his car an drove here to FL. He was a mess when he got here, got his son lright into school an found a psychiatric to wean him off suvuxone. It took 6 long months oh physical, mental, an emotional torture to get off it..i thank God I had 15 years of working a solid program of recovery to take care of him. It was heartbreaking watching him go thru withdrawals for 6 solid months. He should have been in a hospital but wouldn't go. Little by slowly he began to eat, sleep, shower and come around. He started to go to the gym, swim laps an play basketball after 5 months. He was like a Phoenix rising out of the ashes. I saw my son coming back to life. He hired an attorney an got his divorce. He got a job an bought a brand new car. He was even looking at a new house to buy for him an his son an he started dating. He got back in touch with his friends an was going out. One thing he never did was join a 12 step program because he said he wasn't an addict. He could do it on willpower.my son was back an I was amazed! I had a dr apt 1 morning, he was taking his son to school an as I was leaving he hugged an kissed me an said if he wasn't here when I got back he was at the gym but would be home shortly. Ok. I came home an his son was in the computer downstairs an told me his transcripts were not in yet and they wouldn't let him stay. His dad was upstairs in the bathroom either showering or drinking coffee on his phone. A little bit later he said to me my dads been in there a long time. Go bang on the door I told him. No he gets mad he said. Then he said it again. Go bang on the door an tell him I said come out. He came back down an said he's not answering an the doors locked. I flew upstairs banging on the door, nothing. I grabbed a screwdriver an took the doorknob off. My son was fully dressed on his knees half in the tub with the bar an shower curtain on him. Kyle shouldered the door in and screamed. He pulled him out of the tub an we laid him on the floor. I couldn't find a pulse in his neck or his wrist an he felt coil to my touch. There was a $5 bill an a straw on the vanity. His son is screaming I knew this was gonna happen. I ran to call 911 an kyle started CPR till the 1st responders got here an took over. They made us go downstairs. Sheriffs dept, detectives, fire ppl flooded in an they started questioning us. I called my daughter an said come home, Matt's OD'd and hung up. They took us aside questioning us like criminals. A photographer came in thru the garage door taking pictures it was a nightmare. They came downstairs an said he didn't make it. A detective took me out back questioning me an when I went in my grandson was gone. They said he said he was going to kill himself so they cuffed my 17 yr old boy put him in a cop car an took him to a psyche hospital without even telling me! It was a nightmare until a victim's advocate came in an told them to stop. My daughter came in an they restrained her from going upstairs. It's been 17 months an the scene going thru my mind is like it just happened. Our world as we knew it ended that day. We are in a war with this opioid crisis with no end in sight. My son had not done a drug in over one year. I'll never know why he picked up. What I do know is I called my sponsor immediately and I have no desire to use. My whole family is so broken an there's not a thing I can do about it. But I can be vocal an share my story in hopes that it saves even 1 life. It took 3 months for the tox screen to come back because there are that many deaths. My son died from an accidental overdose of fentanyl 1 day before his 37th birthday. This shouldn't have happened but it did. No mother should have to bury their child ever! I'm sorry for this jumbled writing, misspelled words etc but it's hard to type on this little phone thru the tears. The way I feel I can't believe I'm even still alive. There is no greater pain. But my God must have some plan for me I just don't know what it is yet.

Elena is Cuban/American, I use the word "is" because she is still alive within all the hearts of all those that meant her. and for me she's just moved to Heaven. Elena's struggled since very young: she is very strong-willed, she is very stubborn. She had a weight problem and struggled with her sugar obsessions until she reached puberty, always way ahead of her time she was born with a tooth on her bottom gum. She walked at four months old where I placed her on her new walker and she just picked it up and started walking. Once she hit pubescence Elena started struggling with major PMS, Daddy abandonment issues and depression. I overprotected her, I didn't want other kids bullying her so I was constantly fighting her battles. At about age thirteen she started experimenting with alcohol. I couldn't have alcohol at home because their were always kids in my home and she'd take it and share it with her friends. I became very anxious. My brother came to visit and ended up staying with us for a whole year, he was told if he didn't give up his nicotine habit he would not live another six months. Somehow in a couple of months miraculously my brother quit smoking and decided to stay with us. I have no idea how she persuaded him to stop but he did. Little did I, who am a non-smoker ever think she was going to soon pick up the habit. So it started with alcohol, regular cigarettes and then marijuana. She became even very defiant and would never listen to house rules; however she made the highest grades in her classroom peers. I read of certain boy promiscuity issues but I didn't believe it so I questioned her and she denied it. I confronted the boy and he swore he would never touch her again. When I questioned her she became very defensive and would become extremely rebellious. She just wouldn't listen. Thank God I had my own business where I could cater to all her wants. My brother used to say, " how are we or you, ever going to work, (he had three grown daughters of his own) when Elena is a full time job and a half time job at that", he'd say. She became his baby. She is a lot younger than his daughters. Summer time rolled around we decided to visit Miami, where the rest of the family lived. There Elena became extremely disobedient. She would see her dad and come home crying not wanting to see the father and the stepmom who was very mean to her. She didn't want to talk about but I could see the sadness in her eyes. I spoiled her, I wanted to make up so hard for the love she never received from her dad. At the time I moved in with her and my fiance he didn't have any daughters so she became his little one. He requested we had her IQ tested and surely enough she is extremely gifted. Life was grand, she ruled the home but in a good way until he walked out on me and she was devastated. Once again another male betrays her. She became very introverted, not much communication. She started stealing my anxiety meds and passing them out at school. I couldn't move her back to Houston because she became out of control. I stayed in Miami hoping the family could be of support but she turned all into a wind world of doubt and then OD on Benadryl, Tylenol pm's, whatever she could get her hands on. In Florida she was "Baker Acted" many times. I have never seen so many hospital rooms, emergency rooms, doctors, nurses, ERs', psychologists, psychiatrist, sleepless nights in my life. It became a vicious circle. I sold my investment home, which was basically my retirement pad, my car, my business put her in a wilderness camp in Utah had her psychiatrically evaluated, law sues with the father, guardian enlighten, lawyers all to end up much worse than where I started. In court she pursued the judge and the guardian that I was the crazy one that I was overprotecting. The father would just sit in court and was not asked for any type of involvement in her life because the stepmother didn't want Elena in her house. Everywhere she went she wouldn't communicate much with grownups. Her "family", like she claimed became her friends that I totally disapproved off and so did everyone else; however when I spoke with other families everyone claimed to be having the same problems. I just figured with her intelligence I'm ahead of the game wait till she graduates from high school and she will live a different life in college. I believed it was just she wasn't challenged enough at school. She was always ahead. Her friends were two years and older, due the fact she was taking such advanced classes. It was all very overwhelming she became very anxious, she was given anti-depressants, anxiety and sleeping pills that later on I found out she was mixing them with alcohol or what not to get the high. Mind you, this is all very difficult for me to understand because I've never used drugs and am old schooled, somewhat she used to be. She did whatever in her power to become popular and keep the boyfriends. It progressively got worse. I never denied her monies for her basic needs once in college; however little did I know she wasn't using the funds for food, clothing and toiletries. She moved in the dorm a homeless friend I previously had kicked out of our house. Hurricane Irma hit, the dorms were shut down, I was traveling for business couldn't get to Miami, she wouldn't listen and get on a plane to meet me. Instead she stayed with her brother and girlfriend after long hours of waiting for her to appear. As soon as the dorms opened again she claimed to want to go back to study and get her life at the dorm organized. I was basically run down exhausted, I couldn't keep up with all this drama, the courts, the drugs & alcohol, the parties, friends. I finally went to see her. I have never in my life with my Angel experience all the love and hugs she gave to me. Never ever would i have thought this was our goodbyes Elena until infinity. It was and it will remain in our lives until the Heavens and Infintity. I spoke and facetime you on that Sunday you claimed to be back at the dorm we hung up. Incredibly at the time of your passing I was asleep and woke up from a massive right side headache called and the cops answered your phone and the cops told me there were three girls in over town in a car . One was on the floor, on the outside of the car, another drugged out in the back and another had just passed out. I was told to wait. One second seemed a million years, until I was told after calling many times that the social worker would call me. It wasn't good news. My angel went to Heaven. Love you till Infinity our movie.