The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

My son Jason suffered from addiction for several years before passing away at 32 years old on September 27, 2017 from an overdose. Jason’s addiction did not define him as a person. He was a loving son, brother, proud uncle and compassionate friend to all. He loved spending time with his family and friends. Jason loved sports, especially the Yankees and Dallas Cowboys. He was always there to listen to a friend in need even when he himself was struggling with addiction. Jason was determined to be in recovery from his addiction issues and went in and out of rehab several times. Jason’s addiction did not make him a failure. In fact, it made everyone who knew him prouder each time he tried. All who loved and cared for Jason tried their best to help him with his struggle. One of the last text messages he sent me as he entered the final detox was, “Thanks for not making this any harder than this has already been… and I’m talking about just supporting me and just being there. You always know what to say to make me feel better about any bad situation. I love you so much mom.” Jason will also be remembered as a kind, caring, and empathetic person. Jason had the best smile. Even though he lost his battle with addiction, we are proud of the legacy he leaves behind, as a kind, loving, compassionate person, which is what we all want when we leave this earth. Most of all Jason was my beautiful boy.

April 2016 was a rough year for my family. If you know my family you will see I used the day my brother died to mark their deaths because to me that was the day we lost both of them. Todd and Taylor had a very close bond, that daddy daughter connection could have been defined by watching them. My brother Todd passed away at the age of 41. At the time of his death his daughter Taylor was in a rehab for heroin. Some of my last words to my niece were “Taylor, I need you to finish this rehab, you have to fight this thing baby girl, I can not bury you like we are your father today.” I will never forget her looking up at me with tears streaming down her face saying, “don’t worry aunt Kimmy if you can beat alcohol I can beat this”. Two weeks later we buried her with her dad. Both of my brothers, my sister, and myself all suffer or suffered from some form of addiction (drugs and/or alcohol) and while some of us our still here fighting the fight my beautiful niece will forever remain 19. She left behind a 3 yr old son, Ryder, who will only ever know how much his mommy loved him and what a great young lady she truly was through all of us. She DID NOT want to die from this disease but once it got its fangs into her it was too strong a hold to break. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t wish that I could have been a better example, that I do not wish I could hear “wanna take a selfie Aunt Kimmy. Come on let’s take a selfie.” (I hate pictures and she knew that). There is not a day that goes by that I do not wish I could have saved her.

Danny was such a strong, brave, fun loving person. He fought his demons for years and was clean for almost five years before he overdosed. In the last 4 years of his life, he was able to gain amazing relationships with family and friends that were once lost, and even find the love of his life. What will be missed the most is Danny's laugh, smile, and sense of humor. God had bigger, better plans for him, and he is now at peace.

Julia loved life! With 3 sisters, her mom, Duchess her dog, and 3 nephews who adored her, it made for a happy family. Julia’s spirit and outgoing personality was infectious. She always managed to have a good time and make sure everyone around was enjoying themselves. She loved being outside whether in the mountains hiking and camping or scuba diving in the ocean and playing in the water. Julia loved to travel and experience other cultures. When she lived in Eastern Africa with her father and sister, she had a deep connection with the local people and wanted to learn their ways of life, which was unique for someone her age.

Julia loved Duchess, spending many hours with her at dog parks and exploring. Duchess was her baby and she was certainly treated like one. As a cosmetologist, she loved glamour and keeping up with the latest trends. She had a knack for seeing lines and angles. Julia also loved to cook and try new recipes in the kitchen, some were good and some were not, but it never stopped her from having fun.

Julia’s back injury during her early teen years opened the door to her disease of addiction. As is so prevalent in today’s society, she was over prescribed opioids by a local doctor. From there her fight was nearly every day, trying to stay drug free and fighting this horrific disease. Julia had good times and rough times, but always managed to let us know she was fighting and that she loved us all more than she could express. In her death, it is obvious to most of us that she fought as hard as she could, partly for herself, but also for all of us. 

The disease itself has been so poorly researched and its affects on the brain, poorly understood.  For someone who doesn’t suffer from this disease, it was easy to say “please just choose life over the drugs”. We now know how naive it was to say this, as if she had a choice... Julia never had a choice. I wish more people could see the fight and how this is a disease with no cure, only poor treatments and only for those with money.  People with this disease can have some good days or even good years but they are never cured.  The only hope for our society is to find research-based treatments, funding effective maintence programs for those suffering from addiction, and  prevention education, instead of just looking at them as junkies and disposable.  Let it be seen in the same light as someone suffering from MS or ALS, our loved ones deserve that at least. Julia Scott the daughter, sister, and friend will be missed beyond words but stories about her will keep us laughing until we too take our last breaths.

Brady was one of those free spirits that never took one step inside the proverbial box. He had a love for life as big and loud as his infectious laugh. No one was ever a stranger, just someone he hadn’t made friends with yet. Brady had a dark side as big as his bright side. He started using marijuana in high school. While he was in college, he was introduced to more addictive and eventually deadly drugs. He had tried to fight the addiction several times with several different styles of rehabilitation. This is my way of keeping Brady’s memory alive. My hope with this charity program is to help keep another father from this task of writing about his dead son.

Ricky was my big brother. What a goofball he was. I say he was my "BIG little brother" because I was more mature than him, but that is not bad. Rick loved to fish, hike, and climb. NOTHING scared him. He'd race with co-workers to the top of a 20ft beam. With no wires. A co worker actually fell one of those times, but that didn't stop Rick. He would then go to Nevada, and climb on crazy high cliffs, and so on. Ricks addiction, turned him into someone he didn't like, and many times he threatened suicide just to finally "end it." That time came when, on July 30, 2002, he would leave my apartment in a stolen vehicle, go about 2 miles, and nod out at the wheel, going about 30mph, crash into a fence that impaled him. Someone at the scene spotted me at the crash site, stopped and told me how he held my brothers hand until the paramedics got there, and he stated my brother looked at him and said "It's my time." His addiction made him someone he didn't want to be, and he tried and tried to beat it, but just couldn't, so that's when God decided, enough suffering. I miss my big little brother, and his goofy self.

Matthew was the oldest of four and is survived by his parents, Billy and Sheri, and his siblings, Katie, William, and Leo. Family was so important to him, and his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, all of us, miss him dearly. Matthew had so many friends both in Virginia and Pennsylvania. His smile lit up a room and his laugh was infectious. He loved sports and was an avid snowboarder, football, and lacrosse player.
A piece of all of our hearts now lives in heaven. Until we meet again Mattie, we love you always.

Jessica Green was 28 years old when she lost her life to substance abuse. She had a heart of gold, was fun loving, and had a beautiful smile. She died of an overdose on March 23, 2016, after a year long addiction.
It happened so fast and I knew nothing about heroin addiction or the signs.
I miss her presence, her smile, and her laugh. She was my best friend for 28 years.

Jonathan William Ledbetter, 19, died Friday, Nov. 10, 2017, at Carolinas Medical Center in Concord. A native of Cleveland County, he is the son of Joel Ledbetter and Jane Marsh Ledbetter, both of Shelby. Jonathan graduated from Crest High School in 2016, was a member of Flint Hill Baptist Church, and a former member of the Shanghai V.F.D. He had many passions in life, but his true love was hunting and fishing. Jonathan struggled with opiate addiction that started in his mid-teens, but anyone who knew him knew there was more to him than his addiction. We, as a family, share this openly in hopes of saving others from what has happened to Jonathan.
Jonathan was preceded in death by his grandmother, Jeanette Marsh.
In addition to his parents, he is survived by his brothers, Justin Ledbetter of Winston-Salem, and Jordan Ledbetter and wife Jessica of Shelby; grandparents, Leon and Gertrude Ledbetter of Shelby, and Bill Marsh of Clarkton, NC; his girlfriend, Izabell Moore of Shelby; aunts and uncles, Rusty and Gail Marsh of Clarkton, NC, and Crystal and Keith Biddix of Shelby; and cousins, Josh Biddix and wife Scotti, and their son Mason, Kelly Anne Mize and husband Jimmy, and their son Lane, Billy Marsh and wife Emily, and Allie Marsh.

To bring awareness to addiction, memorials may be made to, Shatterproof, 101 Merritt 7 Corporate Park, 1st Floor, Norwalk, CT 06851.

http://m.wbtv.com/story/36864153/after-teens-overdose-death-cleveland-c…

Jonathan Ledbetter was a country boy who loved to fish, hunt, and anything to do with the outdoors. He spent a lot of his teenage life around friends that he had since middle and elementary school until his addiction began consuming his life around age 17-18. He began hanging out with people who were using drugs and wasn’t the influences he needed. He thought these were his friends, regardless what anyone could tell him. He attended several rehab programs without success and was currently working on an application for a long term rehab the week he overdosed chewing on Fentanyl patches.

Addiction doesn’t discriminate against who it grabs hold of. All it takes is the one time to use a drug and it can grab hold of your life and shatter it. Unfortunately for Jonathan, the negative influences all seemed to come around when he was at his weakest points and he would start another downward spiral. I commonly hear people say “addiction isn’t a disease”, “they got what they deserve”. Let’s just hope that addiction never strikes one of their loved ones in their household, those are some big words to eat. I never would have dreamed in a million years I would lose my little brother to an overdose. But listen to me: it can happen to ANYONE.

Life will never be the same for my family. We will continue to miss his smile, sense of humor, and his muddy boots always in front of the door. Please take it from my family. If you are watching a loved one with an addiction, or think they have one, intervene before it’s too late. Research signs of your loved ones addiction, they will be there. One overdose is all it takes to shatter the hearts of a family forever.

My handsome, smart son, Travis was an outdoors man, loved to fish and hunt, tease his little brother, had such a mischevious grin......
Travis had a hard time with anxiety, felt insecure with himself and interanlized his doubts and feelings.
He became addicted to narcotic painkillers and passed away from a overdose at the age of 30.

So loved, so missed

Thomas James Kaupert Senior was taken from his loved one’s too soon, passing away unexpectedly on January 2, 2018 in Houston, Texas at 54 years. He was born April 9, 1963 in San Antonio, Texas. He was a hardworking, professional welder for nearly 35 years, who possessed a servants heart and found his greatest joy in sharing his humor with others. Thomas had a passion for music, the outdoors; especially hunting and fishing. He was a loving and devoted father to sons Thomas and John and daughter Ashley. He is survived by his father Joseph Lee Kaupert Sr. with wife Dianna Kaupert and mother Kay Ellen Locascio with husband Anthony Thomas Locascio; his brothers, Joseph Lee, Rance Eldon, and Jason Logan; his children and grandchildren, Summer, Luke, AnnMarie, and Raymond. Thomas will be deeply missed, but he lives on in the hearts of all the people he touched.

Patrick was my only child, he was so much like me, we had so much in common. As he emerged into adulthood it was such a pleasure to spend time with him. He was so funny, caring, and compassionate.
Never liked school too much and was ecstatic when he graduated high school to finally be done but his passion for cooking and creating far outweighed his dislike for school and much to my surprise he decided to go back to school to pursue his degree in culinary arts, which he obtained in 2012.
During his time in college he started having migraine/cluster headaches which were debilitating for him. I believe it was during this time when he started self medicating with prescription opiates and from there led to using heroin.
He went to detox several times over the next few years and finally into the CDU at a local hospital. It was there he got into outpatient treatment using Vivitrol which seemed to be the answer. For 18 months he went monthly and got his Vivitrol injection and was doing great.
Then this May on his birthday he skipped his monthly injection and wanted to try and get by without it, he thought he'd turned the corner...
He came home from work on Friday August 4 and said he was going out to the MGM casino for the evening, everything seemed fine.
I went to bed a little after 11 and knocked on his door and asked if he was still going out to which he replied "I think so". He sounded fine.
I woke up Saturday morning and saw the light still on in his room so I tapped on the door and called out to him several times. I finally opened the door to find him on the floor next to his bed, dead from a "mixed drug overdose" of heroin, fentanyl, and Xanax. I had no idea he had started using again.

I miss his smile, his laugh, talking with him about sports, his cooking or just his day.

I was truly blessed to have him in my life and miss him so very much. Life will never be the same without him in it.

Damn this disease.

Ryan was a loving and caring son, brother, uncle, and friend. Ryan had a contagious smile and a laugh to match. He struggled with addiction for many years and recently left rehab due to a medical problem. This was a week before his older brother found him in a garage unresponsive with 2 empty bags of fentanyl laced heroin by his side. Efforts to revive Ryan were unsuccessful. I miss him so much. I will always remember Ryan with that lil crooked smile and his curious way of always wanting to tear things apart just to fix it. He was one of a kind. I love and miss you My Ry-Ry. We all do....

Alana was smart, funny, talented, athletic, warm, kind, and beautiful. She struggled with anxiety from her childhood and depression joined her team of challenges not long after. She started self-medicating as a young teen, and in spite of her dreams, best intentions, and hard work, addiction became an enemy she could not defeat. She lost her battle at 18, in spite of her efforts and the love and support of family and friends. Missed every moment, her memory is always with us.

Here is an excerpt of a letter Barry wrote to me while in treatment in September 2008. He had been sober about three weeks. He was in a Dual Diagnosis treatment center, on mental health meds, but not feeling regulated yet. Sadly, he never did feel regulated on meds.

These are Barry's words...

"Depression is like an accomplice to my addiction; they work together in their crimes tormenting my mind and soul. When the depression is arrested the addiction can't work hard enough to bring me down, but when depression runs free, I struggle hard fighting my addiction. But a great choice sits before me when they both run ramped. "Use or don't Use!" The depression makes me miserable no matter what choice I choose, the difference is the level of suffering I go through and the damage done to my mind is like night and day! I suffer brain damage and emotional distortions when I don't use on such a HIGH level, like I said it's like night & day. But if I do use I suffer mild brain damage and minor distortions of emotions and lose my soul in the process. ( Soul Not Spirit, Example: Soul is your personality and thought process, spirit is your life "everlasting" ) My Spirit belongs to Yahweh, but my soul is what makes me unique to my passions here on earth. I hope this does not confuse you. This is just how I know this thing to work, and the only way I can explain it.

Using dope I save my mind and protect my emotions more than I would not using, but I lose my soul and suffer inescapable bodily damage, which is rather minor compared to not using. Now when I refrain I can keep my soul but I lose my mind, thus resulting in my emotions tormenting me, without rest. Both ways are deadly, but the difference is I die in peace. I'm still dying mother, I can't change the way I was made. I just want you to understand me in the end."
Barry Falzone, 2008

In memory of a young man that has left us all, long before his time.
His family, friends, and acquaintances will miss his beautiful person.
Rest In Peace.

An avid music lover, Mary Ellen loved playing her favorite tunes loudly and dancing around the house for hours. Her passion for the arts extended to other forms as well and her home was filled with numerous paintings, photographs, and sculptures. Aside from her love of the arts, Mary Ellen possessed an innate ability to bring comfort to those around her. Commonly referred to as "Mama D" by many of her "adopted children," she was rich with people who appreciated her for her giant heart and free spirit. If she wasn't out finding new art it was common to find her deep in conversation with loved ones telling them to pursue the paths that would make them the happiest in life. As a mother, she encouraged her children to get involved in whatever made them happy and always supported even their craziest endeavors. She was a woman who never walked into a room unnoticed and her booming voice, warm greetings, and contagious laugh are things that will be treasured forever by all those who loved her.

Mary Ellen struggled with addiction for the better part of 20 years. Her battle with substance use was like that of many others, up and down, with good times and bad. Just two weeks before her 60th birthday she ended her fight with addiction and passed on to the next chapter of her existence. She is missed by many, from both family to friends, and we hope that donations made in her name will help other families struggling with this illness.

My brother suffered from this disease for several years before he finally passed December 14th, 2016. As I sat down to write his memorial, the last years of his life were hard for him, as well as for the rest of our family, as we tried in so many different ways to help him overcome it. My older brother wrote a passage from "A River Runs Through It" that I think encompasses what most people have had to deal with:
“Each one of us here today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing to help, Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding.”
We loved Brian, we loved him with our whole heart, he was more than just a person with an addiction, he was a kind and caring person, he was one of the most persistent people I have ever known. He loved the outdoors and taking photos of the beautiful surrounding of Glacier National Park where we both grew up. He loved people and animals, and he had a desire to do more with his life.
His addiction was not a moral failure. Whatever he did to overcome his addiction, we know he did his best. However we tried to help him, we know that we too did our best with the knowledge that we had. There is no blame. There is only love. Brian fought bravely, he struggled, but he fought it the best he could. Ultimately the disease took his life but it could never take our love for him. We will forever be proud of him and we will forever love him.

William (Billy) Charles Decker, beloved son and brother, lost his battle with addiction Tuesday afternoon at his home in Armonk. Born on August 29, 1985, Billy attended Iona Prep before graduating from The Brunswick School in 2004. He then went on to receive his Bachelor’s degree from Northeastern University in Boston. Billy was known for his enthusiasm for sports, especially basketball, which was his passion. He was also an avid Knicks fan. Not only did he love to play, but also took great pleasure in watching his younger siblings and cousins. He went to Madison Square Garden every chance he could due to his LOVE for the Big East conference, specifically the St. John’s Red Storm and never accepted the dismantling of “the real Big East” conference. Although Billy was a living and breathing Giants football TRUE BLUE fan he was happiest when watching his little brother, Kevin, who attended the University of New Hampshire play football. Billy loved attending UNH football games, he was Kevin’s #1 fan and was beloved by the team. Billy was constantly rocking his Yanks sweatshirt and flat-brimmed hat, which were a part of him, screaming his love for the Yankees. Billy found great joy in visiting his sister, Samantha, in the Vermont Mountains to snowboard and be among friends. Billy is survived by his parents, Charlene and Bill, his sister, Samantha, and his brother Kevin, many aunts, uncles, and cousins, who he loved dearly. He also leaves behind his two four legged buddies, Jake and Bodie. It is with a heavy heart that Billy leaves us, the pain will be with us forever. We are thankful for the short time that we were given with Billy and find relief that his pain and struggles are over. We are left with beautiful memories that will forever live in our hearts.