The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

Ryan struggled with addiction to alcohol from his late teens due to his genetics as well as his insecurities. I feel such guilt for not seeing the signs since when he moved back home to go to school. I said it was only if the drinking stopped. I will never know for sure, but the more I think back, the more I believe he substituted pills for alcohol. He was always insecure no mater how handsome everyone thought he was or how selfless he was. He was kind to everyone and never put himself first. The day before he passed, he had found out he had received a full ride to the University of Redlands in music, which was his passion and something that made his life brighten as well as others. He could talk about music for hours and he taught himself everything by ear. When he passed, he still didn’t read music, it was all by ear. He had a talent from within. I feel the guilt that I should have seen the signs, and the ones I did I ignored, not wanting to think it was that bad. You never want to think your baby is that deep in the same addiction that took your other loved ones. I feel the guilt that maybe the man I married was too hard on him and I should have stepped in. That I will also never know. He also felt that when he passed. All I know, is the world is a dimmer place without my angel in it and I wish it would have been me. He made everything and everyone better when he was around. His friends still come to me about him, they even check on me. I wanted to share this story because we went from one of the closest families I know to a family that, although still close, will always be missing a piece and never feel the same nor be whole again. I pray this can help another family and make them get help. With love, Ryan’s Mum

He fought a good fight and tried really hard to beat his addiction but in the end the drugs won. He left his family and friends to deal with the devastation of his death.

David slid into addiction as have so many young people. He was prescribed Vicodin when his wisdom teeth were removed at 17 years old. Ten years later, he died of an opiate overdose. In between, he lived fast, loved deeply, and tried to overcome his addiction many times. In the end, it took him; along with so much unrealized potential. He was handsome, kind, generous...and so smart. I lost my son, his son lost his dad, and the world lost a bright star that burned out much too soon.

My sweet fiancé and father to our soon to be born daughter was a smart, funny, outgoing, and super sweet guy who had a heart of gold. Unfortunately, he struggled with addiction for nearly 20 years and it ended his life tragically short. I will always miss him and his laugh and the sound of his voice and just everything about him. He will live on through our daughter though who I am blessed to have because she is a piece of him. We love and miss you every day, Colin. RIP

My son went to rehab for his addiction to heroin on his 21st birthday. He was doing great. So great that 90 days passed and he moved to a sober living quarters. My son's life mattered. I don't want Any parent to be me.
Joanne Pleger Brandon's mother Thank You

My beautiful loving son lost his battle with addiction in November of 2014. He was a father to a son of his own. He was a son. He was a friend to many. The day he went to heaven he came home and was with me (his mom), and sadly went to sleep and passed. My son worked hard even up until he passed away. He was a good man but unfortunately fell into a crowd I didn’t know. My world for myself and my grandson changed forever. My son is forever 24. We miss him so much and I wait for the day when I will go home and be with him again.

Garret was 28 years old when he lost his battle with heroin/drug addiction. Garret struggled with addiction for about 10 years. Once he discovered heroin, his life spiraled. He attempted treatment a couple of times. His last attempt was August 11th, 2014, his brother's birthday. He was doing well, he was released from a halfway house on October 22nd, 2014. He died 6 days later from a fatal dose of heroin and other drugs. Garret's smile would light up a room. He was incredibly intelligent and talented. He learned quickly. Anything he put his mind to, he mastered. Some of his friends entered treatment after his death and are in recovery. So, I guess he's still saving lives. He had saved several friends in the past from overdose. I now share our story with others to try and save other families from this heartbreak. Getting Narcan out to the public is crucial. My beautiful son Garret did not die in vain. His legacy of kindness and compassion continues to live on. My beautiful son, SOAR strong, proud and forever free.

Tripp was always a kid that wanted to be outdoors. He loved, fishing, golf, and his pets. He was a great golfer. My wish or regret is that I didn’t recognize his struggles and wasn’t able to do more to save him from the clutches of addiction! He loved his family and we loved him so. I miss him so, but find some peace that he isn’t struggling every day to find happiness! My heart goes out to all who lives have been touched by addiction. May we never lose hope!

All I keep thinking is, “Aidan shouldn’t be gone.” Almost three years later and his absence is not easier to bear. Until after he died, I didn’t know Aidan used heroin. He was a smart, sociable kid with many friends. He had two brothers and a huge, loving family. Aidan was a Cub Scout, a JV football/wrestling/baseball participant, and a good student. After junior high, Aidan was involved in the juvenile justice system for theft and being a runaway. I believed these were the result of hanging with the “wrong” crowd and being a teenager. There were no serious charges until he was about 17. At that time, he was charged with using a stolen credit card and entered placement in a high-risk youth treatment faculty. As divorced parents, we believed we were doing what was in Aidan’s best interest: enrolling him in a child and adolescent partial hospitalization program when his behavior seemed beyond our control; not allowing him to come home on probation after he’d continued to get in trouble (after which he entered placement); calling the police when his younger brother found a backpack full of plastic baggies, spoons, syringes, and foil while he was in juvenile detention; opening our home for random drug testing while he was on juvenile probation; meeting with his juvenile court officer as often as asked; visiting Aidan in juvenile detention, our state’s youth correction facility, and placement as often as we could; attending family counseling and intensive in-home therapy with him; and working with him to finish high school after he left placement. Aidan always seemed alert and never under the influence of any substance. Little was I aware how high-functioning opioid users can be. After placement, Aidan held a few jobs in the town where his dad lived, having a few problems with responsibility and showing up on time, but, otherwise, seemed to be doing relatively well. In December 2014, Aidan’s grandma died somewhat unexpectedly. They were very close and, sometimes, I wonder if that exacerbated his substance use. We kept in contact and he occasionally came to visit. I had no idea Aidan was in Minot when, on the night of July 4, 2015, a loud knock woke Aidan’s stepdad and me. I will never, ever forget how that next 10 minutes played out. Dennis went to the door. I heard someone ask if he was related to Aidan Vanderhoef. I was already putting my robe on and heading to the front door when I heard him, and yes and the voice said, “I’m sorry to inform you he has been found dead.” Even writing this brings those memories back so strongly the emotion feels as though it just happened. My experience with Aidan’s situation taught me a lot. It showed me how uneducated and uninformed parents are about substance use disorders. I found out the juvenile justice system often doesn’t tell parents exactly what they suspect your child is using or doing. After I told Aidan’s court officer he had dumped his codeine cough syrup in a pop bottle because he “didn’t like the taste,” I was told to take it away but not why. Now I know why, because I educated myself. Our states/counties/towns/schools are ill-equipped to work with the SUD problem. They are letting SUD sufferers die in jail and refusing MAT to those who could benefit. I could go on and on. I miss Aidan with every part of myself and he is what drives me to continue to advocate even when it feels hopeless. I wish I had known all I know now when it could have still helped save him. My prayer is that I can help even one person avoid Aidan’s fate and our family’s pain.

Spencer was a very lovable guy. Always tall for his age, reaching 6’5”. Very intelligent and had a lot of friends especially in his younger years. Peers looked to him for leadership and advice. He could always help people who shared problems and issues they were having. I always said he could help anyone but himself. He struggled with depression and self confidence, although no one outside of his family would have known. He always appeared to have it all. His drug taking started with RX for ADHD and anxiety and then went on to self medicating, eventually leading to heroin, which took his life. There are no words for the loss that his family feels. We have tried to bring awareness in our community but you just wonder how you are supposed to do this for a lifetime.

Matthew struggled with addiction and anxiety for the last eight years. He entered into treatment for 11 months. Coming out of treatment he worked hard on his recovery. He got to the point where he was chairing meetings, he was a sponsor, and helped place people into treatment. Matt was always there to help anyone at anytime. In May of 2016 his job offered him a promotion and a transfer to Phoenix. He was so excited and took off in his new career. He got his first apartment, a new car, and a cute little cat named Hamilton. He stayed active in the sober community. In May of this year he was accepted into the Pipe Fitters Union, and he was so proud. I was so proud of him. He did what no one ever thought he could--he made it. One December 19th, three days before he was coming home for Christmas, for some unknown reason, he used heroin and overdosed. I am very proud of my son, he did not want to die, he probably just thought, just this one time not knowing it was his last time. I miss him with all my heart. Our life is forever changed without him. He truly was an awesome person who touched many lives.

After finally getting pregnant after several attempts, my beautiful daughter was conceived. After a difficult pregnancy, my dreams came true. She lived a beautiful but sometimes difficult life. Her parents divorced early in her life which caused her much pain. She excelled in school and was always on the honor roll. She lived a very gifted and exciting life. She attended a private Christian school, then was home schooled for 4 years before entering a collegiate high school. She graduated high school with honors and the night after she received her high school diploma she received her associates degree from college. She was an awesome writer. She lived on a sail boat with her mother and stepfather for several years and enjoyed many experiences some people have never seen. She struggled with her relationship with her biological father and stepmom and always felt second best in that household.She was always a social butterfly. She wanted nothing more than for everybody to get along.There are so many people that loved her and thought the world of her. She was always trying to help someone. She became pregnant at age 15 and terminated the pregnancy. This bothered her hugely until the day she died. She was prescribed heavy duty pain medication for several medical issues such as teeth extractions, auto accident, and breast reduction. Her mother also had prescription pain medications. When Danielle ran out of medication she would then take her mothers. She was a brilliant person and a very hard worker. She started drinking heavily after moving in with a girlfriend. She started abusing pain medication. This led to her trying heroin. She had only been using heroin for less than two months before her mother found out. She was put in detox and was attending an IOP program and relapsed. She was put back in detox and then sent out of state for a 90 day program. She did wonderful in this program and came out looking and feeling alive. She then went to a sober living facility and was in another IOP program. One day, right before her sixth month sober, she was found dead in bed in the sober living facility from a heroin overdose. This was also the day before her mother was scheduled to see her again. She was just 23 years old. I so miss hearing her voice and kissing her face. I miss hearing "Mommy I love you" which she did all of the time. I miss her compassionate heart and giving personality. I see so many things now that I wish I knew then. I know that mentally she needed so much help. I tried but she never received the help she needed. She has helped several people through her death for them to obtain and keep their sobriety. Danielle, I love you. Love, Mommy

Garrett was a daddy to Drayven Cole Smith who is 5 now. He was a brother to Phillip, Braxton, and Mariah. I miss him so much. He was one of or possibly my very best friend! Garrett was taken by ambulance "friends" called on a Friday morning. He was intubated, etc. I thank God I was fortunate to be able to see his eyes and get a smile, to dry his tears, and be with him. He was flown out on the following Friday to a bigger hospital. It wasn't good, 😞 Garrett had swelling of his brain, and it wasn't him anymore. I crawled beside him in the bed and stayed the night. Saturday, his dad and I made the hardest decision any parent could make. We had his vent removed. He was moved to the hospice floor surrounded by family, friends, and mom beside him in the bed, until my baby took his final breath. 😫 I believe he's with God now and I can't wait to be with him!! Thank you for letting me share our story.

Jonathan was very handsome, smart, and talented. He was a National Honor Society student. He had a passion for music, and was a very talented drummer who could also play several other instruments. Jonathan also excelled as an athlete and artist. He had a loving family and many friends. He was my only child. I miss my son and I love him more than anything in the world. His absence has left me with a broken heart, but that broken heart motivates me to help others who still struggle. In his memory and honor, I continue to do work that will hopefully keep other families from losing a loved one to the disease of substance use disorder. ❤️

Joey was a very smart and funny guy. He could run a business like no other and be successful. The only problem was he got caught up in the drug scene and was very addictive. He was handsome like s movie star smart as a whip caring (when he was Joey) and would give you shirt off his back. He loved his sisters and niece and nephew. We miss him dearly and pray he is at peace and not struggling. Love you joey Rest In Peace love mom

Casey Jo was full of hopes and dreams that all young adults share. She was studying to be a nurse like her mom, and truly loved working with people. She was diagnosed with Crohn's disease at 18 years old. That diagnosis resulted in numerous surgeries and complications that resulted in prescribed pain medications. Addiction came quickly and without warning. She struggled to see herself as someone with an addiction. After all, these were medications prescribed by her doctor. How could this be her fault? Finally, after years of concern, we were able to convince her to go to a facility to help her medically detox from her medications. And then she discovered heroin. Unfortunately, her body was found in her garage the day before she was to be admitted. She was 26 years old. Her death was ruled a suicide, investigated as a homicide, but was absolutely the result of her addiction to opioids. Our hearts are forever shattered, our memories of her are too few, she wanted so much in life. She wanted children so badly, a family of her own. Casey Jo deserved much more than this, but most of all, she deserved to trust a medical system designed to help heal her, not kill her.

Evan was very smart but had very low self esteem about being gay and shy. He was a very loyal friend and was happiest with them and helping them out. He loved road trips and Nicki Minaj. The drugs were used to self-medicate from the pain, and when the needles started it was down hill all the way. He was in a great rehab in CA but one person ruined it by transferring him to a sober house before he was ready. All alone there he was wandering the streets, very uncomfortable and was dead 24 hours later. I am in RI, his mom, not being able to be there to hold his hand or say goodbye. My life sentence has begun and I am so broken missing him. We did him wrong and I do not get a second chance. What can we do?