The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

I had to come to terms with 3 things:
1. He made that ultimate decision due to his addiction.
2. I did everything humanly possible to help him with his battle.
3. I had to forgive those who acted out in anger at me, I had to forgive my husband, and I had to forgive myself for feeling like I didn’t do enough.
My husband was a career firefighter, retired as a captain, and was also a private pilot. The world was his oyster but he didn’t see that because of the addiction. A beautiful soul, that will ALWAYS have my heart, is gone too soon. I hope to someday make a difference in his honor. ❤️

Chris was one of a kind filled with endless energy, intelligent, handsome, and funny. Everything I’ve ever wanted in a husband.
We reconnected on Facebook after many years apart (we attended the same high school and he was our paper boy when I was a teen). I fell in love with him immediately. He was adventurous and positive, kind and caring. He was a captain at Lansing Fire Dept, and with the department for 25 years. Always the “life of the party." Unfortunately, that started an addiction he battled with his entire life. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to “ feel happy”, as he felt “ broken” inside. He had a TBI when he was 21, and never had followup care, which I believe caused a severe chemical imbalance, leading to his many addictions.
We were together five years, married a little over two when he took his life. He was my BEST FRIEND, my EVERYTHING. In a flash, he was gone. Life as I knew and loved was over.
I will never forget the blessings I gained from being in love with this man. I cherish every moment we had together, good and bad. If I could only have one more day with him.....

Larry was a gentle giant of a man. He reached out to all people, showing love, kindness, abundant generosity, and an innate ability to laugh and tease. He accepted all views on life and was a person of many talents and interests. Larry played football, cherished music, loved the wonders of nature, and enjoyed a bad horror movie. Having received a degree in Business Administration, he ran the family sign business before taking his skills to nonprofits, where he served people behind the scenes. Whether in an elementary charter school, adult reading center, or rehab center, all occupations fit within the realm of helping others to become better people. His compassion was seemingly boundless, once driving a stranger to the vet even though he had to book a hotel and wake up before 6 am to get there. He spent much of his time canoeing and walking in nature with his daughters in Harper's Ferry and Sugarloaf Mountain. He supported them in every way he could. Despite all of his strengths, Larry battled a progressive disease with alcohol, which overcame him.

One of the best ways to remember Larry is through his inscription on the inside cover of a book to his grandson Lochlan, before he was born.

“Hi,
I don’t know your name yet, but I do know that I love you.
This book is one of our favorites.
I read it to your Mom and Sammy many times and eventually they read it to me.
I hope this will bring you as much joy as it has brought to us.
With all my love,
Larry”

Larry’s laughter, kindness, and gentle heart brought joy to many people over the course of his life. We are grateful every day that we can carry him in our hearts.

I will never forget the day Mackenzie was born. He weighed barely five pounds. His older brother Mathew and him were the best of friends when they were little boys growing up. Mackenzie always struggled with reading and writing. It turns out he had dyslexia. By the time he was in middle school he was experimenting with some of his friends. Mostly with marijuana but probably some other things that I wasn’t aware of as well as alcohol just like his father. By the time he got to high school, his addiction was getting worse and worse. He was actually snorting the air cans that are used for desk cleaning along with his friends. He ended up dropping out of high school but he continued to work full-time. Then he definitely fell in with the wrong group of people. He was in a couple of car accidents where he was prescribed opiates for medication. That would’ve been when he was about 19 and for the next 11 years it was a roller coaster ride of addiction. One thing to come out of those years is my grandson, Mackenzie’s son Orion. My son had turned 30 May 31, 2018. On Monday morning July 9, I found him in his bedroom in our house laying in his bed and when I touched him he was cold. Many, many of Mackenzie‘s friends came to his funeral service. All of them reached out to me and told me what a big heart he had and was always there to help them even when he had nothing. I miss him every day and I know that will never stop.

James loved his family and friends. A licensed electrician who was so excited about starting his life over again. We met at a rehab and this was not your usual rehab hook-up. We fell in love immediately and had plans for the future. He used to call me the “One!” I would say, “How do you know?” He would reply, “You know when you know!” We knew! He was so handsome and fun to be with. James was sober for two years when two days after his birthday he overdoses. I miss him so much! We were going to go out and celebrate his birthday. He was so happy. I miss his smile, his kisses, his music, his embrace, and the laughter we shared.

Amanda's fight with addiction started in high school when she was 16. She was a gifted writer and won awards for her writing. She fought so hard to overcome her addiction, and even managed to earn a bachelor's degree in psychology while struggling with it. She was the strongest woman I have ever known yet the drugs were so much stronger. My granddaughter was in a sober living community and was drug free for six months. I love her and miss her so dreadfully but I know that she is happy and with God today.

In his final semester at New York University, Blaine was pursuing a Masters in Fine Arts and completing his final thesis as a photographer. With one of his greatest gifts being the ability to share his passion for creating art, Blaine took on the task of teaching photography to NYU students. Blaine cared so deeply about anyone who ever walked into his life, whether it be a fellow street photographer he met in the city, a new friend, his family, or lifelong friends. Ask anyone who knew Blaine, he could ALWAYS find common interests. Blaine’s love for learning was apparent within just a few minutes of being with him. Though he is no longer here to explain the physics of a black hole (or at least try to), his thirst for knowledge should live within each and every one of us. He will forever be missed, loved, remembered, and inspiring to us all.

While those who knew Blaine may know of his battle with addiction, it is the positive, inspiring, and beautiful memories that we wish to carry on. With that, we ask that donations be made in his honor with the intent of bringing hope to others with similar stories.

My son, my only child. He always had a very easy going personality. He always enjoyed pleasing others. He is a handsome guy. It was a struggle for him after his dad left at age 12. I believe it is where the pain began, where he wanted to hide. He chose friends that would accept him. I truly miss my best friend. He was my only confidant. Thru his addiction he would never want to disappoint anyone. Jovan hid it away very well. He was not happy where he was in his life. He fought very hard the last 3 years on his addiction. He relapsed and lost with a tainted drug. I can never be who I was. I lost my life with my baby also.

Ashleigh’s struggles with addiction were mostly with alcohol. She did do other drugs at times but alcohol was the one constant in her life. She died on her bedroom floor of a fentanyl and ether overdose. It was 30 days to the day she got out of rehab and a day before going back. She made a fatal decision to have a girl she met in rehab back to her dad's house where the girl gave her the lethal dose of fentanyl and ran, leaving her dead on her floor. She paid the ultimate price for a bad decision.

She was a great mom. She tried several times to get off drugs, went to a couple of treatment centers, but just couldn't make it. I am raising her children and I really miss being able to talk to her about them. Even when she was out there she called every day to check on her kids. She was my best friend and I really miss that.

Mark was a wonderful person who had the disease of addiction. He loved his family and friends!
We miss him every day 💜🙏

Kristopher struggled with addiction for several years. He thought he could stop his addiction by himself but it got the best of him. He left us on a Saturday morning in his bathroom, never seeing his daughter Kloe again. He will forever be missed. He will never know how much he was loved.

Cait’s Story

Cait was born into a large Catholic family. She had just one older brother, but many aunts, uncles and cousins. We had family dinners, attended church, CCD classes, and girl scouts. She played softball and field hockey, not being into those sports she did cheerleading from 2nd grade until senior year of high school. She grew up in a normal loving family. Cait was my only daughter, my best friend. I miss our Mother Daughter times immensely. Cait loved small children, animals, and her family. She was always the friend people went to for advice and support. And she always gave it whole heartedly.
My Cait began to experience crippling anxiety in high school. She said she was never comfortable in her own skin. If this was the cause of her addiction, I am not sure. It started at senior week 2009, the experimentation with drugs. Then after having some serious relationship problems she progressed to heroin, being co-codependent with her current boyfriend at the time. She was lost to her addiction and family for close to two years. Finally I was able to convince her and or drag her to rehab. She completed a month there. The day after she was home she overdosed. She was taken by ambulance to York Hospital where she was largely ignored because she had regained consciousness and was just a drug addict to them. This I remember clearly, having never experienced this type of ignorance.
In about a week to 10 days she was back to the same rehab, Retreat of Lancaster. After the second month of clear headedness she wanted to be clean. The Vivitrol shot helped her a lot with the cravings she had for the drug heroin. Later, Caitlin relapsed again and went back to rehab willingly, of her choice. I fear there were other relapses, small slips that I was unaware of. Finally, in December of 2014 she decided to be clean from everything while still being on the vivitrol shot and attending NA. She was actively working toward recovery. She was doing great. I had my daughter back. Her family had her back.
Caitlin wanted to stop the Vivitrol shot. In NA that is known as substituting one drug for another. She was clean of all drugs for almost 5 months. She relapsed on a Thursday. I know this because she wrote in a notebook that “she relapsed to the thing she cannot seem to stay away from”. That following Sunday, April 26, 2015, she passed of an accidental heroin OD on her bed in her home, doing homework. She had five classes left to graduate York College with a BA in Psychology. She wanted to work in a rehab and help other addicts. She never got the chance. She didn’t want to be an addict and never expected that would happen the first time she tried heroin. Please don’t try heroin the first time. Addiction can happen to anyone.

My husband John was such an amazing man. The day we met it was love at first sight. He was handsome, intelligent and had the best personality. We would laugh for hours some days. We married on 2•16•12 and had two beautiful children together. As time went on I noticed his demons that would haunt him, despite how hard he would try. He would do well for months but when placed in an emotional situation he would turn to alcohol. He suffered from anxiety and depression. After time, he would turn to alcohol and when he was intoxicated, he would turn to cocaine. They were vicious cycles. He would be full of so much shame after each time he used. One thing I admired most about him was his ability to do whatever he put his mind to. But on October 7, 2016, his demons were far greater than his strength and he lost his battle with addiction. He passed away that morning from an accidental overdose of cocaine laced with fentanyl. My nightmare had now become my reality. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life was tell our two young children that their daddy, with whom they loved with all of their hearts, was gone. I believe his mental illness played a major part in his addiction. The last thing he would ever want was to leave his family. We would have been married 7 years in a couple of days, so this time of year is always painful. So many “what if’s.” John is missed dearly every single day by his family. The only peace I get is that he’s in Heaven in complete peace. He’s not in anymore pain and is with our Lord who he loved with all of his heart...

My brother was my best friend and losing him to addiction was devastating. He battled the last few years of his life with a heroin addiction, but it never stopped him from being a good father to his 3 wonderful sons. A medical malpractice left him with an opiate addiction which in turn took his life. He was my best friend and living without him has been horrible, he was always so full of life, happy go lucky, and the best father I know to his children. He lived with me at the time and had off and on for years so it’s been very hard for my children as well, we miss him dearly and if it wasn’t for negligence on a doctor's part just maybe he would be here today.

So full of life. Never knew a stranger. Lit up the room when she walked in. Could turn a boring, dull day into a fun, sunshiny day! She had struggled with Bipolar Disorder since she was 11. She was medicated and put on disability since she was 13. She made poor choices in her life and she really struggled to the point where she lived in her car. She was with a deadbeat guy for 13 years. When he went to prison, she got sober. When he got out, she started again cause he was her influence. Never took care of her financially, but had her on every drug imaginable. We would try to talk to her, but it did no good. She was an adult and made many bad choices. Her last high was a high dosage of fentanyl that killed her right beside him. He never called 911 until he moved her down the street in 17 degrees, went back to the apartment to clean up the drugs and guns. To this day, he was never arrested and continues to deal drugs. We miss her and a part of us died when she died. I never found out exactly what happened or who was there because they are saving themselves from criminal activity. She was surrounded by her loved ones who she thought was her friends. God bless my angel. Forever 33

Mike was a standout athlete who was constantly getting aimed at and had many ankle injuries in soccer. He was a division 1 soccer player. We didn’t know about the addiction problem that we know now. We would take him to hospital and they would X-ray and send him home with 30 Percocet and two refills. This happened many times. He became addicted and grew to need more and more. He lost his fiancé and then tried to commit suicide. He asked to go to rehab. I sent him to Florida. There he learned to shoot heroin. He was never the same. When he died he had been sober seven months so needless to say we were shocked to hear he had passed after talking to him 2 1/2 hours prior. Nothing is ever the same or right. Heart pain is excruciating! ❤️💓💞💔😢

Tyler was my best friend and my son.
He was an only child.
Good kid, always. Never any trouble other than the normal kid stuff.
When Tyler was 15 his dad passed away very suddenly from an illness.
Tyler and his dad were best friends so Tyler was left broken hearted.
At the age of 23 he was introduced to the demon heroin.
Tyler only used for a short time but I feel he was hooked from the first try.
He tried to quit and he was ashamed of using it.
He told me mom I don't want it (heroin) it wants me.
Tyler passed away at age 24.
I love you Tyler. Happy Valentine's in heaven.

My son was a great kid. He was proud of the fact that he graduated high school and encouraged his friends and girlfriend to get their GEDs because it was important to finish school. His friendships lasted a lifetime. He was funny and loyal. He was self sufficient until he had a lung resection done and got addicted to opioids. Then he had a bad grease burn at work and more opioids and then a car accident and more opioids. Then when he couldn't get the opioids from his doctor anymore, he went to the streets. He got addicted to fentanyl and then when his life got totally out of control he went to rehab where he met his last dealer. He was sober for six months. On June 10th, 2017, he had a bad day and couldn't get fentanyl. He got heroin and he died. He was 25 years old. He is missed everyday by everyone. We will never be the same. I try to tell myself we were all better for him being in our lives than not.