The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

My daughter Marie Amanda Marchand MATTERED.
May 1, 1986 ~ March 23, 2019
#forever28
Marie was always ahead of her age group. From an early age she excelled in school and was a member of the T.A.G. (Talented and Gifted program).
Straight A student. An extraordinary memory.
Then we relocated to another state and that's when all hell broke loose.
Marie was 12 years old, entering the 7th grade in a new school, in a new state. She was not happy about this, leaving her school and lifelong friends for the past eight of her 12 years, since preschool.
Marie struggled in school with an entirely different curriculum. She also had to make all new friends, which she did pretty easily even at this awkward age.
To make a long story short...
My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (the same as her Meme).
She ended up being a cheerleader for Pop-Warner football in Amherst, NH. She was in a gymnasium practicing (as a Flyer) with NO mats on the floor, dropped on her head after they missed catching her then rushed to the hospital with neck and spine injuries.
Prescribed opiates for the pain, but could no longer receive them after 26 years old from her dad's insurance.
The rest history.

John Donald “JD” Byers of Great Falls, Virginia, died March 17, 2019 of an accidental overdose of prescription drugs and alcohol. He was 28 years old. John spent much of his life overseas as part of a Foreign Service family that had served in Israel, Pakistan, South Korea, and Ukraine, which made him a student of global affairs. He had great dreams for what he would accomplish using computer-human interactions and augmented reality to help people learn. At the time of his death, he was making plans to return to college to bolster his degree in business from Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) in Richmond with studies in imaging science and quantum computing. John had an insatiable curiosity about how the brain worked and read broadly on science, philosophy, and leadership in the search for meaning, direction, and peace in his life. John’s passion was ice hockey which he played growing up in South Korea and Ukraine as well as for teams in Reston, Ashburn, at Langley High School, and at VCU. He had an infectious smile and would light up any room he entered, sharing hugs with any and all. He loved the beach, fresh falling snow, “authentic” rap music, and Christmas lights all year long. He loved his family and his friends, and they loved him. He is missed by his parents, Brent and Theresa Byers, his sister, Catherine, his grandmother, a host of aunts, uncles, and cousins, and Bogwon the dog. John will finally find peace in the arms of God.

When I met Tony, my life changed forever. I did not know at first that he had a problem with drugs. He had been on methadone and was doing well. I didn’t know what that was all about, but even if I did, I would have been with him because we were in love almost instantly. As our relationship grew, he stopped the methadone and was sober and didn’t go back until a series of surgeries put opioids in his system again. It was like a switch went off.

Yet, he was sober and serene for 10 beautiful years during which he continued raising his three children, Sarah, Marc, and Eli, and helped me raise my own, Nicky and Emma. Tony was great with kids. They loved him. He could make anything fun, a walk in the park, even a chore in the yard. He taught my daughter to ride a bike. He took my son fishing at the pond. He gave his attention and his time.

It’s hard to express in words the deep and true connection we had to each other, even in the last seven years, when his addiction to heroin retuned with a vengeance and ravaged his life, emotionally and financially, as well as my own. But through it all, there was love between us. And at the end, we were still spending time together and reaching out to each other every day with words of love and kindness. For this, I am grateful.

Tony’s family is warm and loving. We had so much fun together preparing barbecues or holidays for them. One year, he made a pernil for the first time in his life, and it came out great. He didn’t even eat pork. He did it for his family. He loved his children and his siblings and mother so much; it hurt him that he couldn’t do more for them. But he did so much just being him. He spent time with each of his children doing everyday things. It was time that he cherished.

At home our days were happy. We had a little dog named Chloe — Tony’s puppy through and through. We lived in a lovely, peaceful town, and took long walks near the water often. We rode our bikes on trails. We traveled a little — made it to Puerto Rico to see his family and to San Francisco to see mine. We watched TV, held hands, cooked, and cleaned together. We lived life. And it was beautiful.

The disease of addiction made his life ultimately unendurable. We understand this, and we forgive him. But we are all suffering deeply without him. He meant so much to us.

He always told me he would love me forever and that I would still be beautiful to him, even when we were old. I know he meant it, because he saw me and I saw him. “I see you,” he said to me on one of our early dates and he meant it. I saw his goodness from the moment I met him.

Tony, “Tone,” “Tone-Tone” as my kids called him. The world is diminished without you. We are so sad that your suffering was so great that you needed to leave us. We will miss you forever. I will love you forever, my love, my “babe,” and the love you gave me will live in me forever. My heart is broken without you.

Brandon was the son, brother and friend everyone always wanted to be around. He was a real “people person” who always had a smile on his face and a big laugh. In high school, he was the Homecoming King and star football player who never left the field. In college, he won a national championship, and he seemed to be on the path to a great life. As his father, I thought my job was done so I turned my attention to his younger siblings.

Brandon was the oldest of my children and the easiest to raise. Growing up, he rarely got into trouble and was the most reliable. But that all changed while he was in college and was introduced to prescription drugs (not prescribed to him) and alcohol. I later learned from his teammates that they would all pass around the painkillers and alcohol in the locker room after practice. Unfortunately, Brandon didn’t know he was genetically predisposed to become addicted to these drugs. Unlike most of his teammates, Brandon became a slave to these drugs, and he couldn’t seem to live without using.

Brandon battled his addiction for three years. We lost his fight on February 15, 2002, and no day goes by that I don’t think about him, wishing we knew more about addiction back then. He often said, “Dad, no one ever told me I couldn’t stop!” Brandon’s words haunt me regularly. The stigma of shame and lack of education about this disease kept Brandon from getting the help he needed.

Thank you Shatterproof for leading the fight to change the stigma associated with this disease and providing a place where we can share our stories.

Logan grew up in Spring Grove in the pigeon hills, a small town in PA where we knew everyone. It seemed like the perfect place to raise a child. He was definitely the entertainer of the family always funny and loving music... singing and dancing from a young age! By the age of 5 he started playing t ball and soccer his love for sports followed after his father and I which made us all very happy! If he wasn't playing sports he was outside riding dirt bikes four wheelers and go carts! As he grew older he added football basketball and lacrosse to his list of sports... he was a natural for sure! So by high school, he was focused on soccer and lacrosse primarily while maintaining good grades and working part-time as a dishwasher and cook... he definitely kept himself busy! When Logan turned 16 is when the problems began I noticed and found things drug related but primarily pot or cigarettes nothing worse. As the years moved on the problems progressively got worse... his cars were getting vandalized.... he was attending a local college following graduation and got a DUI, with a manufacturer intent to deliver charge for having Molly on him... in the next three months he got two more drug-related DUIs which landed him in jail with a felony and loss of license of 14 years.... things continued to spin out of control...

After jail he had a job and later decided to go back to college... before he left that summer his father was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and given 3-6 months to live. Logan went off to college and came home whenever he could get away... but at college the drugs and problems continued... he was blowing through his student loan money on drugs...he got arrested for numerous things shoplifting... buying stolen property, a rap sheet was growing rapidly... he eventually dropped out of college after his father passed away and came home after three semesters. He got a job with me again and tried one again to get his life together. We moved closer to work and the city where he was more independent close to everything to get around by bike or foot. In December of 2017 he took my car in the middle of the night...totaled it and came home! He ended up on house arrest for three months and more fines. But he continued down the wrong path until July of 2018.

He entered himself into a local outpatient drug program. He made it two weeks, relapsed, went back after a week... relapsed... and finally entered into an inpatient care facility St Josephs near state college. After 45 days he returned home 40lbs heavier... happy... driven to start a new life! Entered into a local recovery/sober living house relapsed after three weeks got thrown out for using in the house... slept on the streets for three days.. got into a fight and sent to jail where he was told rehab was his only option... so back to St Joseph's in November.

During his 30 days he was voted community leader and was stronger than ever...I was so proud of him! He decided to enter into an addiction clinic in CA for recovery/sober living so I made the trip to see him on Dec 13 and said goodbye and on Dec 15 he took his first plane ride by himself to CA! He was excited he loved it! He was in a million dollar house a block from the beach we talked often as he explored the area and went to LA and Hollywood. The first two weeks were good as he attended counseling and classes every day but the following two weeks I could see something had changed. He had deleted Facebook and his spending habits were changing again. On the morning of Jan 14 at 6:20 AM eastern time I got the call at work I always dreaded.... it was Logan's house manager telling me he had overdosed in the house, and was Narcaned twice and sent to the hospital. An hour later a Dr called me and said they were helping him breathe and the pulmonary specialist had worked on him and couldn't get his heart to beat again. The demon had won and Logan's drug struggles were over. It took 7 days to get him home to us on his last plane ride.

He is missed by so many every day but I know our angel is with his dad and watching over all of us every day and he is free of drugs and the pain he had suffered with for so long. RIP Logan

On September 19, 2012, I lost my daughter at the age of 28 to an accidental drug overdose. Her name was Jayna and she was an aspiring model who always said, “Someday i am going to be on a billboard on the West Side Highway, and I will stop traffic!”

Jayna was absolutely beautiful and well known and loved in the city of Yonkers, NY. I want this billboard for two reasons: The first reason is to make my daughter’s dream of being on a billboard come true, and second to bring attention to the fact that opiates can ruin all dreams.

This pic is one of her beautiful modeling pics that show that drugs do not discriminate and I think that such a billboard can, and will, impact those who see it. My intention is to have her beauty captured while sending out such an important message. Trust me, her beauty will stop traffic and get the intended message out to those who may be struggling with addiction.

I live these days to keep the memory of my only child alive and vivid, for she was a vivid and quite unique woman. At the same time, I will be trying to save other families and mothers from enduring the pain of losing a child to an overdose.

I am looking for a billboard to rent for as many months that my budget will allow as the GoFundMe campaign of JaynasDream continues. I would like it to be in Yonkers, NY, somewhere that those who knew and loved her will see it. I am focused on the caption: “I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON A BILLBOARD......I DIDN’T KNOW I WOULD DIE BEFORE IT CAME TRUE.”
*don’t let your addiction ruin your dream* and I would then like to Include an overdose awareness hotline. You can clearly see that this is a message that is strong and powerful and it will show how drugs and overdose do not discriminate. Anyone can be affected by the disease of addiction. But until the stigma is lifted, addiction will not be treated as a disease so let’s start by ridding the shame and throwing away the stigma. If I can help just one mother avoid the pain I live with every day my mission will be worth it and my daughter’s life will have more meaning than ever because she will be helping others.

Wendi was the middle of 3 children born out of an enormous love of her parents who were married for 60 years. She was most proud of being a mother to her only child, Cameron. She loved her family and she loved her job as a respiratory therapist. She had surgery on her neck years ago and became hooked on opioids. Numerous car accidents and being able to walk away from those uninjured, she came home, took too much of what she should not and not enough of what she should. She fell asleep never to wake up again. Four months later our Dad passed away also. We love and miss them everyday.

I miss everything about him, especially his hugs. They were the best. I miss him every minute of every day! He was sober for almost two years and worked in recovery helping others. I have been told by people who worked with him that he saved many lives. He did not lecture but was honest and would tell those struggling when they were messing up and share his experience.

I had a very hard time finding help for him when he was ready to get sober. It is a horrible problem that is still going on. He only had Medi-Cal and I called every place I could. They would put him on a waiting list that could take up to 4-5 weeks. Jodi Barber posted on Facebook that she had scholarships and had two beds available. I was on it and they picked him up that day.

He was super smart and I never heard him say a bad word about anyone. He didn't have a mean bone in his body. I really hate addiction and it needs to be addressed. Stop the stigma!

Kenny struggled with addiction for more than eight years. He was in and out of rehab too many times to count. I know the shame he felt over the stigma of his disease. He struggled mightily with PTSD after his time in the army, and I believe his drug use was very much an escape mechanism for him. He longed to be sober so that he could be in his son’s life. He had put together months of sober time, but unfortunately, as is often the case, relapsed one more time. That’s all it takes. Kenny was only out of rehab for six days when he overdosed on heroin and lost his life. He left behind a lot of family members and friends that never gave up on him. He left behind a son that mourns his fathers absence from his world. I will never see addiction the same way.

Will's smile lit up any room. His blue eyes were the first thing you saw when you met him. He had a huge heart and would help anyone. Will was more than his addiction. He was a man fighting his addiction every day. He had such a huge heart. He loved fishing and spotting deer. He never sat down I don't think until he met me lol. He worked hard and played harder. He was always up for a good joke and was silly. He used to sing to me often and I miss that. He loved hard and loved his family and looked after us all. He and I were drawn to each other from the moment we met. He was my everything. We lost him way too soon and he had so much more to do in life. His life was cut way too short. What I want people to know the most was he was far more than the addiction that cost him his life. My worst nightmare came true and it was something we spoke often about. I am lost without him and part of me died the day he left this life. Oh what I wouldn't do to turn back the time. All of our plans for the future are no longer and every day is a struggle without my best friend. I live with the what if's and regrets and will for the rest of my days on Earth. I miss every ounce of him and still can't believe this is my life now without him. He was the love of my life and I was his. I wish no one this pain. Addiction is an awful thing to live with and I wish anything that there was more help out there for him. God wanted his Angel and now he is mine. I'll never forget him. He was the reason I woke everyday...

My uncle was there the day I was born and watched me come into this world in 1996. However, 22 years wasn’t enough time to have with him. Five years out of the 22 years of my life he was in prison for drug related charges. With that, I only had 17 years with my Uncle. Case could make anyone smile. Case lived every day to the fullest because a terrible day in the real world was better than where he came from in prison. Case had hobbies in motorcycles, Volkswagens, and 80s hairbands. Case drove a truck for my father, which was his brother. He was known for driving hours on his new motorcycle or car just to show a friend or myself his new ride. Once released from prison, Case was able to get a job working with my dad and become successful in that position. He was given a brand new truck to drive! Every year our family has a reunion in August. This past year, Case was the president and had organized to have chicken made on an open fire. My brother, my dad, and I helped him. After missing numerous reunions from being behind bars, he deserved to be the president for a while. On a Saturday, I texted him and thanked him for getting my sheep skin slippers fixed. Yes, actual sheep skin. He told me his slippers have held up since 2009 and mine should last me a lifetime. Little did we know, I’d never speak to him again. That Monday, my dad drove to my house and told me this news. The worst news of my entire life. My uncle had lost his life to fentanyl. My dad worked with him daily and saw no signs of return to use of drugs. Case and I wrote to eachother when he was in prison. I recently re-read all of the letters and he tells me numerous times that he loves me and never had intentions of hurting anyone. I work in a hospital daily, helping patients return home after serious surgeries, strokes, and other traumatic injuries and I couldn’t help him. Case could make friends with anyone and make anyone laugh. I know Case would want me to keep strong and I am trying my best. 17 years of my life to have with him wasn’t enough for me.
I’ll always love you no matter what choices you have made. Life is full of mistakes. You had nine lives and fully lived all of them. Keep watch over me. Say hello to Anne (Anne is Case and my dads mother that passed away when my dad was 21 and when Case was 19) for me. Tell her all about me and how many traits of her that I possess.

Love you and I’ll see you soon,
Hale- Bug

He struggled with addiction and had his ups and downs but always loved life and his kids. His mother was so good to him and he lost his father two years ago to cancer. I pray that recovery finds everyone suffering with an addiction and this stigma goes away. We are good people who just made some bad choices. Recovery is possible. Please know you are worth it.

I'm not sure where to begin with the story of my dad. I struggle with this because I was never aware of his addiction until about six months before his death. My family wanted to protect me and they knew he was afraid I wouldn't love him if I had known. The truth is, learning of his addiction made me want to love him more because I knew he needed it. When I found out, I ordered him a pocket angel that says "always with you" for him to carry around to remind him I would never stop loving him or caring about him. He had that angel in his pocket the day he died, and now I carry it with me each and every day.

My father was an incredible person and I learned so much from him. I only wish he wasn't taken from me when I was at the young age of 24. The heartache I face when I realize he will never know my children is just unbearable. I think this is a testament to how amazing he was. He taught me to love with all of my heart. He taught me to care for everyone you meet and see the good in others. He taught me that life is good and that you should take time to notice "the small things." He taught me that you'll never regret a phone call to a loved one, even if it's just a short 5 minute call to say hello and I am thinking of you. I miss those phone calls with my dad. I could honestly hear him light up just by his voice because he was genuinely so happy to talk to me, even if I was on my way to work and didn't have a long time to talk.

I have so many favorite memories, but my favorite would have to be this one:
Sophomore year of college I surprised my dad by coming home for a visit. I was about 10 minutes away from his house when I called him and asked him what he was doing. I knew he was having a rough day and he sounded kind of sad, so it made me happy that I had decided to come home to surprise him. When he told me he was just hanging around the house, I told him he should go to the front door and look outside. He sounded confused but when he opened the door I was standing there waiting for him! His face completely lit up and he started to tear up, giving me the biggest bear hug. For everyone who didn't know my dad, he was the world's best hugger. Just knowing I made his hard day a little easier gives me peace at moments like this when I'm missing him.

I'm thankful for the 24 years I got to have my dad in my life and I know he's watching over us all now, finally at peace and no longer struggling with addiction.

Thank you to Shatterproof for allowing me to write a testimonial and share a little bit of my dad's life with everyone here.

Dad, you're always in my heart. There isn't an hour of any day that goes by that I'm not thinking of you and wishing you were here.

Love always,
Ashley

Nathan enjoyed his quality time with his children. He played baseball, basketball, floor hockey most of his young life and his favorite leisure time was fishing. Nathan always helped anyone who needed it and was a big hugger who loved blowing kisses (muah) to his lived ones. Family called him Nate while his dear friends called him Nizzo.

Nathan started his addiction after graduating high school when he started marijuana. But what really started him on his addiction was when he started working on fishing boats, where he would be out for two weeks at a time on lobster boats working. He got introduced to oxycontin pills to stay awake and work.

Nathan tried for many years to get sober for himself and his children. He would be sober for a year straight a few times but in the end the disease won.

My beautiful son died at the young age of 35 and he has also lost family and friends to drug addiction.

Meaghan never denied her addiction. It was a part of who she was. She fought for 17 years until the very end.
She had dreams of becoming an addiction counselor one day.
Her addiction started with pills, then opioids, and onto heroin. It was a weekend methadone overdose that killed her.
Her organs were donated and she lives on through her heart, liver, and kidneys.
I will forever miss her warmth, humor, and kind spirit!

Andrew was born to climb, whether it was scaling the refrigerator when he was a toddler or the side of a mountain when he was 20. On the annual Thanksgiving hike or the 4th of July race, he flew. As a boy, backpacking in Colorado with family, and all over the southeast with just his dad, Andrew was at ease in the woods. Snowboarding was one of his greatest loves, especially the long runs at Whistler. So was Cape Cod; playing in the ocean, riding bikes on the canal, and building bonfires with his Bostonian cousins.

Drew was intellectual, philosophical, and creative. He was a deep thinker, although few knew it. He was widely read and loved science fiction, particularly Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. He embraced diverse music from country and rock to alternative and rap. He got in trouble at preschool for singing a line from Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison Blues. He thoughtfully chose Christmas gifts that were quirky but perfect. He collected souvenir pins from places he or family traveled. He wanted to see the world, especially if it could be on a motorcycle. He was daring in the kitchen and hoped to be a chef. Growing up, Drew lamented that he was the only boy in America without a dog. Goose, a pointer-beagle mix, recently came into his life, and he was able to enjoy her unconditional love and wet kisses.

Drew was a great son, brother, grandson, cousin, and friend - he laughed and cared - he was a remarkable young man. He spent the last four years wrestling addiction and the onset of mental illness. We didn’t understand it, we fought it, and we fought each other. Finally, Drew couldn’t fight any more and heroin stole him. We are grateful he came home - as hard as it was to find him, we were able to know where he was and be near him. Addiction is an abominable disease and drains the life from all it touches. Mental health disorders are misunderstood and often feared. We want to honor Drew and give hope to families who are navigating addiction and mental illness, especially behind closed doors. It is too big and hard to face without hope.

We are grateful to have shared his journey for 21 years.

Matthew was just 27 years old when he passed away. He struggled with addiction from the time he was a teenager. Growing up was not an easy time for him. He went from smoking pot to heroin and tried many times to quit. There were things going on in his life that he would not want to talk about. He was living in a halfway house after having gone through detox. He had a job that he loved and was a great chef in a wonderful restaurant. He unfortunately made the choice to inject himself with a lethal combination of heroin with fentanyl. He did not intentionally want to die.

Matthew will live on by giving the gift of life to six other people. Matthew was an organ donor. Every day I miss him terribly and am grateful to have had him in my life for 27 years.

My son struggled for so many years off and on drugs. He had so much pain and hurt in his soul which always led him back to drugs. He tried so hard but in the end tore his shoulder and was given tramadol at the ER. We assume this is what led him back to heroin as two days later on Christmas day he died from combination if heroin and tramadol. 😢