The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

Sal struggled with addiction through his high school years - he was embarrassed of his disease. From the time he was 18 years old he tried to get treatment and was in and out of rehab facilities never getting the proper treatment because he was never afforded any more than 11 days at a time - We always struggled with insurance trying to get approvals, never enough funding and/or beds to take him. He wanted help desperately but sadly never received the help he needed and deserved. In June of 2010 he was, for the first time approved under state funding for treatment. We were all so hopeful and happy because this was he first time he was able to get approved and we all believed this was a gift and Sal was on the road to recovery. 11 days later, we received a call that his funding had ran out and he was being released - his release papers were clearly marked "high risk for relapse" - but they still released him. We called every treatment center in the area to get him into another place, no one would take him - we lost Sal on September 23, 2010 from an accidental overdose. Sal was not alone when he died, but the person using with him left him alone to die -without calling for help - my son was left to die.

Dan was an addict for 15 years. He was clean for a few years when he was in prison. He didn't always have money for his habit so he stole from me and my husband. Almost 4 years ago he went on methadone to stop the heroin. He did good for the first 2 years, but he started drinking heavy and that was a bad thing. Last year he got a DUI and wanted to get off the methadone. Earlier this year he was going to the clinic smelling of alcohol and about 6 months ago he was released from the clinic and then started having problems. He started stealing from me and his daughter to support his habit. It was getting bad. Then in June he said he wanted to stop and he tried to go to Bowling Green but could not get in then because there were no beds for men. He struggled for months and about 2 weeks before he died he started working harder and was taking suboxin to try to stop. He was doing pretty good and the week before he died he was talking about his future. It was the first time he talked about his future in a long time. It felt good to see that he really wanted to change and I was glad I was going to have my son back. When he got paid on October 4th he went and bought some heroin and asked a friend to get him suboxin because he didn't want to blow all his money on heroin. He got his usual amount of heroin but it was strong and while I was at work he locked his self in the bathroom and never came out. His daughter called me at work and said he was in the bathroom and not answering her. I knew what was happening and told her to get Pop Pop and try to beat on the door to get a response but he did not respond. I got home 15 minutes later and the ambulance was right behind me. I walked in the door to find my husband and neighbor trying to get in the bathroom but he was leaning on the door. The ambulance attendant finally got in the bathroom and they did everything they could but it was too late.

I think Danny lacked self confidence and always had the need to "fit in." This ended up making him make bad choices.

Carl was diagnosed with Bipolar in his early 20's. He tryed self medicating with alcohol. He went to rehab many times and did finally stop drinking. In his early 30's he was introduced to opiates and that was his demon for the rest of his life.

His struggle began in his mid-teens with marijuana. Sean had ADD, school was difficult for him. I think he was looking for a way to fit in..to feel normal. He was quiet and kept to himself but sometimes he would get emotional when we talked about what was going on with him. As he got older things got progressively worse rehab after rehab, IOP, incarceration, legal issues. It got overwhelming for him and so did the guilt. I think he would use to forget to numb himself from the pain of his guilt..for things that happened and people he hurt. That wasn't him...it was the drugs and I knew that.

Ryan had learning disabilities all of his life and struggled in school. He also suffered from depresson and bi-polar disorder. No medications we could find would work for him. Some made him so sleepy, some too hyper, etc.. So as with many addicts, he started self medicating with marajuana to start out with at a very young age. We had him in and out of treatment facilities and programs from the time he was around 14 years old. Nothing worked long term, and eventually, it lead to pills, which eventually lead to heroin use. No amount of begging, pleading, threatening, forcing him to treatment facilities, trying to keep him inside, trying to keep him away from his (friends), worked.. A few good days, and he would be right back out there. I was on the verge of losing my job, running home to keep checking on him, and even told my job I needed to cut down my hours.. The day I was to start working part time instead of full time, is the day it was too late. That was the day Ryan never came home again.. That was the day we found out he had overdosed in someone elses home. That is the day that I will never forget, the day etched in my mind forever as the worst day in my life.

"Austin's began exhibiting many of the symptoms we all know to be red flags by the age of 14. I wanted to hope his use was experimental, but I realized it wasn't fairly quickly -academic problems in 7th grade and emotional outbursts at home. Yet, he was still an amazingly loving brother and affectionate child. At the age of 14, I got Austin to agree to a treatment program that was somewhat controversial. He made friends quickly, and within a short period of time, was a designated mentor for incoming youth. Parents and the kids in the program were crazy about Austin. Austin made being sober fun. He had almost two years of sobriety and was hoping he was ""normal."" Sadly, he was quickly reminded that he was not - the sobriety didn't last. We would go through a few more rehab programs, periods of being clean/sober, times when I had my son back. When Austin was 17, I could not find a rehab program that would take him since he did not want to go. I had made him leave the house and he was living out of his truck. I'd never seen Austin be aggressive before this time. I made one of the toughest decisions of my life. I researched and visited several treatment facilities that would take Austin. I paid to have escorts pick him up in the middle of the night and they drove him to a lock-down school. It was an excruciatingly painful decision. After leaving the school, he once again was the son I had always known. Working a program, graduating high school. Relapse came again and hard! I applied to have him be on Intervention (TV program). 3 months of paid treatment, medical detox, etc. just couldn't be passed up. I had to take the chance. After a long process, they chose to feature Austin. Things were rocky in treatment. But upon his return to Colorado, he did well. His fiancé had his baby, he was clean/sober for 6 months. Relapse came again. He was ashamed, isolating himself. Wondering how he could have done this since he was now a father. "

Alysa's journey with addiction began when she had her wisdom teeth removed the summer after her senior year and was given Oxycotin for the pain and swelling; and that is all it took. She loved the feeling and her addiction went into full-blown overload. Unfortunately, the next phase was heroin going from smoking to snorting and then IV use. She embraced sobriety through treatment and triumphed for many months, but sadly only to be drawn back by its deeply entrenched hold onto her soul. She never wanted this life and was so trying to stay clean, but the need and desire of the demon won and she lost her battle to her addiction.

Since Earl was a teen, he experimented with many drugs and along the way he developed alcoholism and an addiction to crack cocaine. For many years, he struggled with these demons and very sadly, he became ill as a result and passed away from complications with this liver and throat.

Shamus did not intend to give his life to addiction. The disease took his mind and personality. Addiction took his ambition, pride, creativity, sense of humor, his smile, and the light from his eyes. Addiction lied to him and told him he was in control. He tried to appear functional as addiction destroyed him bit by bit. Because of addition I will never see his beautiful smile again. Because of addiction I will stand at his grave on Mother's Day and his birthday. Because of addiction his children will never see their father at their graduation, wedding, or birth of their children. Shamus fought so hard but was so tired.

"We found out Trevor was smoking weed when he was 16. We talked to him about it and thought it would stop. When he was 17, we were noticing changes in his behavior. He was moody and argumentative. We hoped it was just teenage rebellion, but we found out he was using prescription pain pills. We never got a straight answer on how or when it started. When we found out he had tried heroin, he was already 18. Flash forward six and a half years. Six and a half years of losing jobs, lying, stealing, manipulating, dope sickness and bill collectors. Countless attempts at trying to get him to get help, either a rehab facility or at least counseling were met with “I can do it myself”. And he did, several times, but it would last awhile and then all the issues would start again, and you knew he was using. He had about 18 months of success with Suboxone, but he didn’t like the way it made him feel and decided to stop taking it. Things got worse, and we finally had to ask him to leave the house. He then decided he would go to detox on October 22, 2011. After detoxing and going through about three weeks of rehab, he was sent to a recovery house in York, PA. He was doing well at the recovery house. We had the first really good Thanksgiving and Christmas in a long time. He had gotten a new job, and had become head of house where he was living. He seemed to be doing well. We had agreed to get him a used car to get back and forth to work. He was working a night shift and the bus schedule wasn’t working out. He came home to pick up the car on Wednesday night. I told him to call me when he got back to the recovery house. He didn’t call. I couldn’t reach him the next day, so I called the recovery house. They said he was sleeping and they would have him call me when he got up. When the phone rang around 7:00 that night, it wasn't Trevor, it was the gentleman who ran the recovery house telling me our son had died of a heroin overdose. "

Bryan did not always understand the laws of the land, people, and perhaps tried to re-arrange his world hoping it would make better sense,. His reality and perspective changed, unfortunately by delving into an area that would only perpetuate misunderstanding and create more confusion and pain. No, Bryan was right in some respects, life can be unfair and there is pain where there could be pleasure. Bryan lost his battle with Addiction after many attempts to heal, find understanding and Acceptance. Bryan said, "maybe I should pray more, my spirit is broken". Bryan is among the angels who are so dearly missed. Bryan came to me for a reason. He got the opportunity to have a mother and I, an opportunity to be one, and have a child.

She became addicted to marijuana submerged in butane also known as waxing. Then started using just butane which finally took her life.

Josh started experimenting with alcohol and drugs at a young age 13 or so. He really started using different substances at 15 and struggled through high school. He got his diploma and worked for three years for a plumber until his addiction caused him to lose work and he was fired. He got bad after that and when he was 23 he got arrested several times. He detoxed in jail for the first time, and spent time in 5 detoxes after that. His last stay was 6 months at a sober house. He stayed clean for 8 months. We thought he was ok but, an addict is never really ok. He was found in his bed. He had been dead for several hours. There was no saving him.

Her struggle with drugs was so intense, she did have a very strong longing to be clean and sober.

Jocelyn started out by smoking weed at her early teen years and escalated all the way to heroin by the time she was 20. She was in and out of 4 different rehabs and as a family myself, my dad, my mom, and two brothers tried to rehab her ourselves. We all wanted Jocelyn to be free of this disease and we know Jocelyn wanted to be free as well. The heroin addiction led Jocelyn to the streets of Kensington Philadelphia where she was eventually murdered.

Richard had a long love story with drugs and alcohol and mental illness. He had no social skills.

His addiction to heroin only last one and a half years. He tried desperately to fight this demon and never wanted or thought this would happen to him.

He was always in and out of rehab, he got clean for bit, then went back to heroin. He ended up in the hospital because the drug was making him hallucinate, he saw people there and he thought they were trying to harm him. He also had nightmares and night terrors. t\The addiction got so bad, that he became a stranger to everyone who knew him.

Mandy was strong and clean for the last 9 months of her life. She was starting to work on her GED, had her first job, and had hope in her eyes. The summer of 2012 was the first time Mandy, our younger sister Vanessa, and our mom were together in years. It would also be our last summer with her. Before that summer, the last time I saw Mandy was so heartbreaking. She was strungout and had no idea who I was. Mandy faced jail and prison sentences for her drug abuse. At one point of her being out, she lived in a basement ""apartment"" of a ""fourplex"" in Ogden. I include the quotations because this house had no real separate apartments. The four kitchens and four bathrooms made it seem like a fourplex, but all four sections were accessible to each other with no real privacy. Mandy lived in the worst of the four sections. I know this because my boss, a real estate agent, has been in charge of the now bank-owned house. I've walked through the house, taking inspections every other week, and came to view it as her addiction manifested as a building. A couple weeks ago I begged my boss to do the inspections on this house for me. It was too much and took hours to recover from the anger that house brought out. My fantastic and understanding boss asked no questions and took on the burden for me. It doesn't matter that this is not where Mandy ended up, just knowing she was in such a horrid place The last night Mandy was alive, she got in a fight with her boyfriend. They were both drinking heavily, and Mandy left the house at about 1 am. She walked to her dad's house where Nessa was staying. Nessa had been struggling with heroin herself for years and was facing a similar path. Mandy begged Nessa to talk with her, but Ness asked her to come back tomorrow when she was sober. This haunts Ness, because the next person Mandy went to was a cousin who sold drugs, which he offered to Mandy. The meth combined with the alcohol was enough to kill her."