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Cash Owen
Age 22
22

Cash Owen was born January 18, 1995. He was the light in our lives; with a beautiful smile and infectious laugh. As a toddler, Cash wore his cowboy boots with swim trunks, dragging his toy shotgun behind him (a true Texan) to Deep Eddy Pool. From an early age, Cash loved learning and was self-motivated to pursue his interests. He was eager to read biographies of our country's leaders and learn about the Civil War. Becoming an avid coin collector at the age of 7, Cash enjoyed going to McBride's, talking with the ladies, and sharing his knowledge that was way beyond his years. He was intelligent, charming, and so witty with his dry humor.

As Cash grew older, his interest in food became apparent. His sophisticated palate led him to become a great cook, and we always knew we were in for a treat. His latest hobby shared with his mom was eating the 12 spiciest dishes in Austin (never a meal without a serrano in hand). Spending park time and gym time with his twin, toddler sister's became a common occurrence. They adored him, and he often awoke to them bouncing on his bed and yelling, "Tash, Tash". The last few months were the best. He was truly present, as though his spirit was healing.

Sadly, Cash struggled with addiction. He willingly sought treatment on numerous occasions, but as we know, this is a disease that, for many, is incurable. Cash's valiant fight to find sobriety, happiness, and a sense of calm ended February 9, 2017. Addiction is a horrible disease that the mind and body cannot fight; stealing far too many lives. We are not ashamed of Cash's addiction, but proud of the battle he waged against its grip; a death grip. We are thankful that God took him home where he is safe and at peace with the many lost boys and girls who have found the freedom of pain, depression, addiction, and suffering. There is no judgement. There is no shame. Taken far too soon, we write this not to dishonor his memory, but to shine some light on an illness. It is our hope that compassion, understanding, and recognition of addiction, begins to replace the stigma of this disease.

Cash was preceded in death by his Uncle Boone, Grandmother Joanie, Great grandparents, Mimi and Poppy, and Grandmother, Chloe. He is survived by his mother, Jacy; stepfather, Brian; sisters, Columbia and Paloma; father, Phil, his beloved Mimi, Joycelyn, grandparents, Sam and Shelley, along with his aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Words can never express how much he will be missed. A Celebration of Life service will be announced at a later date. In lieu of flowers, please consider making a contribution to: www.shatterproof.org

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Daniel Mark Majchrzak

Age 24
Loyal, Gregarious, Beloved, Son, Brother
Daniel Majchrzak
Age 24
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24

Quite simply we will miss everything about him. His quick wit, his laugh, his infectious smile. Danny was so much more than what he showed most people. He was deep and sensitive and cared very much for others, especially those less fortunate than himself. He was not a materialistic person, and was known to give his last dollars to someone in need. Despite all of his wonderful qualities, Danny did not always see them in himself. He struggled with self esteem from a young age. After graduating from high school, he was disappointed in options and was introduced to opiates during his first semester of college. This began his 6 year struggle with addiction. He went at least 7 different times to treatment programs and found the most success in Southern Florida. Dan had long stretches of sobriety and did his best when he recognized himself as an addict and followed the 12 step program. He hated heroin, and did not want it to be part of his life - but fell victim to the disease and the escape it provided.

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Danny was an active, gregarious, funny, kind, and sensitive man with a heart of gold. From an early age, he had a passion for sports, especially basketball, which he excelled at during his high school years. He loved his family, friends, his girlfriend Nora, the Buffalo Bills, and the Michigan Wolverines with all his heart. In recent years his passion became weight lifting and body building. He enjoyed meeting and talking to people from all walks of life and could always bring a smile and a laugh from anyone. Dan's addiction to heroin ended his life on February 3, 2017. He will be forever missed by all who loved him - which is everybody.

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Cynthia Maria Aguilar

Age 21
Beautiful, Intelligent, Strong, Loyal, Fearless
Cynthia Aguilar
Age 21
21

Cynthia is the one and only child of her dad and his wife Ruth whom she lovingly referred to as "Mom." They involved her in sports and she obtained her black belt in martial arts at a very young age. She is highly intelligent which gives her the ability to master any task set before her.
She was very independent as a teenager. As with many teenagers, her need for independence, coupled with her level of intelligence, gave her a false sense of security in believing that she could make her own decisions and live her life without the need for guidance. These choices let her into the dark world of chemical dependency.
Cynthia found herself with an addiction to "speed." She was able to kick this habit and shortly after finding out that she was pregnant with her son Andrew. He is the love of her life, the reason for her existence, her entire world. There is absolutely nothing that she would not do for him.
Eventually, drugs reared their ugly head once more. Cynthia's drug of choice this time was heroin. An insidious drug that caused her to become a person that she hated. After her parents begging and pleading for her to get help, she agreed to go into treatment. Because she had no insurance, she made the decision to go into a treatment facility in Tijuana, where her brother was also seeking help. Within 24 hours of her admission, she was found deceased, in her room, from an accidental overdose.
The devastation that her passing has caused her family is indescribable. It is a pain that will never be alleviated, regardless of time. The only thing that allows her parents to continue to move forward, is her beautiful son Andrew. They are committed to ensuring that he never forgets what a beautiful soul his mother is and the endless love that she had for him.
The stigma of heroin abuse must be smashed! Those who struggle with heroin addiction are not people living on the streets with a needle in their arm! Cynthia was a hard working mother, a daughter, a wife who had a home, dressed well, had a love for tattoos, and was a productive member of society! Heroin does not discriminate. It doesn't matter what race, religion, or financial status you're in. For those who find themselves in the grasp of addiction, the end result is one of the following: Jail, institutions, or death.
As you may have noticed, we have referred to Cynthia in the present tense because she remains very much alive in our hearts. We know that she is with our heavenly father, watching, and sometimes visiting, her son as well as her mom and dad. She is missed every single moment of every single day. Her memory will live on......forever. <3

Introduction

Cynthia is a beautiful soul. She is intelligent, with the ability to master any task set before her. The relationships she has with her family and friends runs deep. She is loyal to the core. Her greatest achievement in life is being a mom to her son, Andrew James.

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Kathryn Kleber

Age 29
Sister, World Traveler, Business Owner
Kathryn Kleber
Age 29
29

Kathryn was an innovative small business owner and world traveler. She taught English in Taiwan and South Korea, and lived in England briefly. She had an infectious personality and laugh. She had a way of making everyone around her feel special. Her addiction to alcohol and Xanax ended her life on November 26, 2015. She will be remembered for the amazing things she did in her 29 years in life.

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Harrison Subversive Dunnett

Age 20
Twin | Son | Rapper | Soul | Subvers!ve
Harrison Dunnett
Age 20
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20

Harrison, singer | songwriter| rapper | producer.... had "aspirations bigger than your whole town".

The Subvers!ve Music Foundation has been set up in his memory to support youth in respectful, non violent, drug free music: www.subversivegang.org

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Born September 14th, 1996 in Stamford, CT, this shining light with an insatiable lust for life was dulled at the young age of 20 in Laguna Beach CA. He passed unexpectedly in his sleep while at Casa Bella Rehab Facility in Laguna Beach.

Harrison, aka subvers!ve, filled every room with energy and soul, He was a producer, songwriter, and rapper. He wrote and produced dozens of songs in the bay area, most notably the EPs Mirrors and Judge Not, Reservation for Two, Speak My Mind, the 415, Be Somebody, and Juliet. His music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIKkqD4T6qs

His music can be enjoyed on soundcloud.com/subversivegangofficial. He is survived by his twin sister Jacqueline Dunnett, his parents Warwick and Gail Stempel Dunnett

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Elva chantrill

Age
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Age

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Jason Iagulli
Age
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William Thomas Stewart III

Age 28
The love of my life
William Stewart III
Age 28
28

Billy was my everything, he still is. He had my heart since the day I met him, and it just kept getting better from there. We did everything for each other and with each other. To say he was the love of my life is an understatement, he still is, always will be. There wasn't a thing he wouldn't do for me, or for anyone, to be honest. His smile could light up the world and he always put others before himself. Many of his buddies in recovery with him have told me stories about how much he helped them get to where they are today, I couldn't be more thankful for the lessons Billy taught me. Although he cannot be here with me today I know for sure that he is always with me in spirit and no one will ever take his place!

Billy was addicted to drugs before we were in a relationship. The first time we hung out he took me on a drug deal and said "don't tell anyone about this." I never did until recently. I should have taken that as a red flag but I didn't, I loved him already. This went on for years until there was an intervention, and he chose to get treatment. I couldn't be more proud of him! He went to meetings and worked his recovery for 9 months! Right after moving into a sober house he relapsed and overdosed while I was waiting outside for him. They gave him narcan and he was thankfully okay! The next day he got himself back into treatment, where he continued to stay clean for about 6 months before relapsing again. Same thing, as soon as I got the call that he was using he got himself into treatment that night, again couldn't be more proud! I was so proud of him everyday that he was clean, I can only imagine the effort it took; I've never touched drugs in my life. From there he was clean for about 6 months again before relapsing, overdosing, and losing his battle with the demon, heroin. It was such a struggle for him and I saw that all through our relationship but I never once left his side, just like I promised him! There are so many details that I failed to mention but I could talk about him forever! I miss him every second of everyday and there's not a day that goes by that makes this any easier.

Not to toot my own horn, but I would say I made him smile. I did everything I could to be the best girlfriend I could be. Whenever we were together doing whatever we were doing, if it was going on a date or me sitting in a meeting with him for support, he had a smile on! Many of his friends have now shared memories with me about times that he told them how much I meant to him. Aside from myself, I would say that his friends who became family to him never failed to make him smile, and for that I thank them!

I miss every little thing about him, there's not a thing I don't miss. I miss his smile and the little gap inbetween his teeth that he was so self conscious about. I miss sitting and talking to him about anything and everything and having him as my boyfriend, best friend, soulmate, and everything all in one! I miss going to meetings on Saturday nights for him when I could be doing a million other things. I miss all the littlest things that I now feel I took for granted at times.

Introduction

Billy was a great guy, he would do anything for anyone, even if meant dressing up like Mickey Mouse for our niece's birthday party! He was the best thing to ever happen to me, he still is, that will never change. Billy was sick with the disease of addiction and after a long rough journey, the demon: heroin ultimately won. Nothing will ever be the same without him, I miss him more every day.

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Kaylee Danielle Martin

Age 29
Great Mother, Great Friend, Beautiful
Kaylee Martin
Age 29
29

Born on December 14, 1987 in Birmingham, Alabama. She passed away at her home in Clanton, Alabama on January 22, 2017. She was 29 years old. Kaylee leaves behind her son, Charles Francis Martin, her parents, James Kyle Martin and Kathryn Kirkwood Martin, her long-time companion Christopher Sanders, as well as two sisters, Amanda Sudderth (Fletcher) and Cortney Bosworth (Rick), and a host of nieces and nephews.

Kaylee attended Oak Mountain High school in Pelham, Alabama, and later Jefferson State Community College and the University of Alabama Birmingham. She majored in Mass Communications with a concentration in Broadcast Journalism. Kaylee worked in the food service industry and later as an administrative assistant for Doubletree Hilton Hotels.

Kaylee enjoyed attending the Grove Community Church with her family in Clanton, Al. She was involved in numerous activities including a discipleship class.

Kaylee struggled with drug addiction and alcoholism from a young age. She attended inpatient treatment for her addiction and received methadone maintenance treatment with little success. Kaylee gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on March 3 2015, and her outlook on life changed. Her purpose in life was to be a good mother to Charlie. She was clean and stayed clean while she was pregnant and while she was caring for her son, Charlie. She had a legal battle which led her to a relapse, and since she has no insurance, treatment was extremely hard to get. In Alabama, getting insurance can also be very difficult, depending on your income. With help through family and loved ones she was able to get a policy on the Alabama Health Exchange, but when she finally got insurance it did not cover inpatient treatment. She desperately wanted to go to treatment. Every day seemed to get worse and worse, until she finally was approved to go to an inpatient facility in California; however, she overdosed moments before she was supposed to leave for the airport for treatment.

Her son, Charlie. Her Friends and Loved Ones.

I miss spending time with her, talking with her, watching her smile. I miss everything about Kaylee. She was the light of my life.

Introduction

Kaylee Danielle Martin was 29 years old. She was a Christian who attended the Grove Community Church with her family in Clanton, Al. She was involved in numerous activities including a discipleship class.

She had a strong passion for music, and loved to travel and go camping, and spend time in the outdoors. Kaylee was in her element and the happiest experiencing outdoor music festivals and seeing live music around the Southeast. She enjoyed making and selling jewelry and arts and crafts for her friends and for herself.

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Matthew John Lutz

Age 32
He was the best ever!
Matthew Lutz
Age 32
32

Matthew was strong. He was courageous, he knew no fear yet he was gentle and kind. He was the guy that you wanted on your team. Matthew was always full of life, energetic, upbeat, and positive. He was the best son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, or friend we could ever have. He had a huge, kind heart, he loved his family and friends, and his heart beat was his beautiful daughter. He was the middle child of 3 sons, all close in age and he remained close to his 2 brothers into adulthood. Matthew was very kind, generous, and intelligent. He was also our most stubborn child and anything he put his mind to he would accomplish. Matthew was competitive, athletic, and outgoing. He loved the outdoors, family beach vacations, riding his Harley, fishing, and hunting. Matthew loved wildlife and had a special fondness and knowledge of birds. Matthew was a bricklayer by trade since the age of 15. He was good at his craft and took pride in his work. Matthew had a smile that lit up the whole house. Matthew was a great cook! He made the best macaroni salad and the best spaghetti and meatballs. Matthew was proud of his Italian heritage. Matthew was always adventurous,and he seemed to do just about everything "first" in the family. He walked when he was only 7 months old. His daughter says her dad was very talented and she is right. He liked to laugh and have a good time. For a "tough guy" he could be very sensitive at times; he got that from me. He liked being with his family especially his daughter. They were like 2 peas in a pod, always playing and laughing. He was so good with her. He taught her many things like to tie her shoes and to work her math problems. He was smart. He was a good person. He never wanted to hurt his family. He loved us and we loved and continue to love him.

Matthew got addicted to Xanax in 2015. He hid it well. He had stuggled hard with alcohol since his devastating divorce in 2011 but then decided to quit, went to the doctor, was prescribed benzodiazepines for "anxiety" and soon became addicted. He became withdrawn from family and friends which was totally out of character for him. His life was spiraling downward; he got suspended from the Bricklayers Union, wrecked automobiles several times, his fiancé left him. He finally went to rehab in December of 2015, relapsed in January after being out of the program for about a week, and was in jeopardy of losing custody of his daughter. After relapsing, Matthew went to and completed an out patient program while living at our residence temporarily. Matthew once said to me "I can beat this drug mom, it's not going to define who I am, I'm stronger than this." I believed him, I truly did. Everything seemed to be going good. He finished the program, he was going to meetings, he was reinstated to the union, everything was settled with his daughter, he was moving back to his own home on April 1. I found him unresponsive in his bed in our guest room the morning of March 24, 2016. We called 911 and started CPR. The autopsy report revealed small amounts of 3 drugs in his system. But for him they were fatal. My world crashed and ended that day.

His beautiful daughter Keirsten.

I miss everything! Every single thing about Matthew!!! I miss his voice, I miss seeing him play and be silly with his daughter. I miss him telling me he loves me and texting " Goodnight, I love you." I miss our conversations over a cup of coffee or his random phone calls during the day just to say hello. I miss our trips to the beach and our family gatherings. I miss him so much. My heart broke into a million pieces the day my precious son died and I don't think it will ever be put back together again. I will miss him until the day I die. I miss 3:33...that was the time he was born. I miss my beautiful, kindhearted son. I miss his jokes and sense of humor, I miss the smell of his favorite cologne. I miss him every time we are gathered as a family. I miss him every morning of every day!!!

Introduction

Matthew was one of a kind. He was greatly loved and had a smile and a laugh that was contagious! And those intense blue eyes. Matthew was very lovable and kind. He never met a stranger, and he was full of life! He had an outgoing personality and if you were his friend or family, you better believe he had your back for sure. He believed in family values and was a good son, dad, brother, uncle, cousin, nephew, friend. He was definitely one of a kind!

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Joel Isaac Rudick

Age 27
Had the gift of laughter.
Joel Rudick
Age 27
27

Joel was an incredibly loving man, very witty, very smart, loved reading his fantasy books like Game of Thrones, loved music and gaming.

Joel began experimenting with pot at age 13, then got caught up in prescription pills, zanax, oxy, then came cocaine, meth, and heroine. He had gone through rehab 3 times.

Family...he loved family gatherings, loved to see his family happy. Making people happy made him smile.

His laugh, smile. His hugs.

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Joel Isaac Rudick was 27 when he died of a drug overdose. Love was not enough to save this man whose sense of humor always put anyone he met at ease.

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Connor Scott Johnson

Age 25
Loving son, brother, child of God
Connor Johnson
Age 25
25

Connor felt everything so much! He was sensitive and used that sensitivity and creativity in his writing. He loved to listen to music and enjoyed sharing his love for music with others. He liked being outside whether it was taking his dogs on a hike or doing landscaping or playing bocci ball on the beach with his family. He also had a passion for working with young people so he worked with teens at church and younger children in a before and after school program. His goal was to become a life coach and help those struggling with addiction avoid some of the mistakes he made.

Connor was introduced to opiates in high school by some friends after he injured his back in football. He continued casually using them along with drinking and smoking marijuana. His progress in school steadily declined. He went to four different high schools including a therapeutic boarding school. One of his best friends died from an overdose which just caused Connor's disease to escalate. After some brief times of sobriety, he eventually started using heroine and then methadone. He went through medical detox from methadone but ended up dying at the treatment center.

He loved spending time with his family - eating dinner, going to movies, or vacationing at the beach. Every year we went to Florida as a large extended family to spend time together and Connor loved it! He played bocci with his Dad, brother and uncles. He also loved his dog Jake. They were inseparable. They would take walks to the waterfall or to the bog - both near our house. He was a big fan of the Patriots, Red Sox, and UConn Huskies. He also loved the Lord and enjoyed worshiping with great music or going on mission trips in Hartford. He loved to vape and really enjoyed great flavors he could find.

I miss seeing his beautiful freckled face smile. I miss the way he would always ask me how I was doing. I miss his hugs. I miss his quirky great sense of humor. I miss his thirst for knowledge about whatever he was into at the time - vitamins, health food, coffee, tea, vaping, etc. I miss going shopping with him or for him. I miss his love for both junk and health food. I miss our talks. I actually miss worrying about him. I miss hearing his voice.

Introduction

My beloved son Connor is forever 25. I miss his beautiful freckled face smile and warm hugs. He loved his family including his 2 dogs. He fought cancer including a stem cell transplant and beat it but wasn't able to beat the terrible disease of addiction. I miss him every day. Our lives will never be the same without him. He's forever in our hearts.

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Luke Silvio DeRespinis

Age 23
my son, a brother, a loving uncle
Luke DeRespinis
Age 23
23

He was kind and loved everyone. He loved his family more then anything. He is so missed everyday. A huge void in our hearts forever.

It started with pills then he began heroin. He was in countless rehabs, detoxes, hospitals, and sober living homes. He was clean for 8 months when he relapsed. His sister and I found him gone at a friends house.

Being with his nephew nyko

Everything....EVERYTHING his beautiful smile lit up my world.

Introduction

Luke Silvio DeRespinis, my oldest son passed away at the age 23. He fought addiction for at least 8 yrs. He left me July 30 2014. My life ended that day as well. Heroin killed my boy....

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Christopher Michael Baswell

Age 24
Son, brother, fiancé, dearly loved
Christopher Baswell
Age 24
24

Chris was a very intelligent young man that had so many dreams for his future. He was engaged to a wonderful girl and was making plans to start college. The youngest of three sons, he was definitely the free spirit.

Unknown to us, Chris started using mj around age 14. By the time I realized he had a problem, at age 18, he had already become addicted to heroin. Chris tried several different rehab programs but none that would keep him long enough to be of much help and with him being over 18 we had no control. When I found him in his room that final day, he had been clean for almost a year. His struggle was over...but ours, 11 years later, continues on.

His fiancé Bre and dog Sam. His big brothers and all of the pranks they loved to play on each other.

His hugs and hearing him say "I love you Mom"

Introduction

Christopher Michael Baswell: Chris was our youngest of three sons. A beautiful soul that was loved by so many for his love of life, family and friends. His smile and laugh could make my heart melt with love. We will hold you in our hearts until we meet again my sweet son.

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Aaliyah Dawn Kenekham

Age 21
Loved By So Many
Aaliyah Kenekham
Age 21
21

When you ask people to describe her in one word most would say BEAUTIFUL. She was a very outgoing person who had touched so many people's lives. She had a heart of gold.

Aaliyah met a boy when she was 15 years old with whom she fell in love. He was a heroin addict. She tried it for the first time with him. I did not find out about this until way after the fact. Their relationship was cut short because I found out that he was a 20 year old heroin addict. She started to dabble with other drugs after this point. Her strong addiction to heroin started when she was almost 18 years old.

Aaliyah loved people. Her friends, brother, & Mother could always bring out that beautiful smile of hers.

I just miss her hugs & her telling me every chance she got that she loved me so much.

Introduction

I lost my daughter on 12-21-16 due to her disease of heroin addiction. She was so outgoing & loved by so many. Her obituary had over 7,000 shares. The local newspaper contacted me because people wanted to know her story. It made the front page of a Sunday newspaper. She would want me to be advocating for addiction & #OverdoseAwareness in her memory. I feel a strong need to do so.

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Tynan Sherman Graham

Age 22
Son, good friend, much missed.
Tynan Graham
Age 22
22

He cared a lot about other people and loved animals. He was athletic and made it to regional finals as a freshman in college in pole-vaulting.

After struggling for a few years with addiction, he was doing well in a rehab program and had a good job. The week before his accidental overdose he had reached out and encouraged a friend to come to rehab. Rather than let a roommate take the blame, he came forward and admitted to vaping in their dorm room. He was given a 5-day discharge from his program. It seems that he thought he could handle getting high one more time. Sadly, the county sheriff said they see this a lot.

Everything from babies and puppies to fast cars and a wicked good joke.

His sweet, loving nature.

Introduction

Ty was a vibrant, high-energy soul.

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Jared Karl Wagster

Age 27
Loving ambitious intelligent handsome sickness
Jared Wagster
Age 27
27

Jared was brought up in a stable household with a mother and father that loved and cherished him dearly. At a young age he was very outgoing self confident with the gift of athleticism, he was able to excel at any sport of his choosing. He began swimming at the age of four and was a natural fish in the water. Swimming took him all the way through high school and into college with a swimming scholarship.

At the age of 15, Jared's father passed away from cancer. This was a devastating time for Jared and I. I believe his addiction began with him not being able to cope with this massive loss in his life, so he began self-medicating. Fast forward, first three months away at college, I then became aware of his drug problem. I must say I was in denial, not really seeing the extent and seriousness of his problem. Through many rehabs he was unable to escape the hold that heroin had on him until it finally took his life.

Jared always seemed happy and made friends like a magnet. Behind that smile was a dark place he was hiding from, and his escape was using.

Jareds contagious smile, laughter, wittiest sense of humor. I miss everything about him! I miss that I will never have a grandchild. I miss I will never see him married. My life has forever changed, I have changed and will never be the same.
I search every day for a purpose, most of all, I wanted to see him happy and enjoy life as it was before this monster entered our lives. I will never get the chance, he is gone! The worst word in the whole world GONE!

Introduction

Jared Karl Wagster loved life to the fullest, he had a great sense of humor and was the life of the party.
He had so many gifts and talents to offer, but his life was cut short by the epidemic that is sweeping our nation and killing an entire generation of wonderful young men and women.

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Nathan Michael Legg

Age 26
Son, brother, father, nephew
Nathan Legg
Age 26
26

Full of love and a whole lot of artistic talent.

I believe it was a feeling of needing to feel loved more.

Jokes and his son.

His smile

Introduction

Nathan Michael Legg. March 5, 1990 - November 30, 2016. May your journey have been peaceful. I love you baby boy.

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Aaron James Whitman

Age 21
Son and brother with a big heart!
Aaron  Whitman
Age 21
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21

Aaron was so full of life! He loved making everyone laugh and loved seeing everyone around him happy.

Aaron struggled with heroin addiction. Attempted rehab and help from family was not successful. The drug is so evil...

Being around family.

His smile and kind heart!!

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I lost my son on January 28th 2015 of a heroin overdose. He just turned 21 a month prior. It has been a very slow healing process. It is a gut wrenching pain that I do not wish on my worst enemy.

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Bonnie Ann Carr

Age 57
Mother, sister, friend, child of GOD, slave to fear
Bonnie Carr
Age 57
57

Beautiful soul. Easy to talk with. Great listener. She loved her family and enjoyed being a grandmother. It was a privilege to spend time with us. Creative and artistic. A servants heart. Enjoyed gardening and watching movies. Very easy to please. She had the GIFT of GIVING and asked for nothing in return. She could take one verse of scripture and write a whole page of poetry out of it. When she worshiped, she did it with all her heart and she LOVED GOD.

Bonnie struggled with drugs and alcohol her whole life. It began when she was 11 or 12 years old. She was physically, mentally, and sexually abused as a child. She was in multiple abusive relationships as a woman. Pills and alcohol was what she struggled with the most but in the end she died from a crack-cocaine and wellbutrin overdose. The wellbutrin will always be a mystery for me as I believe after being on crack for 5 days she then took the wellbutrin, which is an anti-depressant to end her life. I will never know. She did attempt many times to quit but in the end she simply would not surrender and face her fear. I believe the suppressed memories that were surfacing through her counseling--about her father molesting her as a child--were too much for her to bear, the pain was to intense and because she had no other coping skills, she dealt with it the best way she knew how and that was to use. It was also brought to my attention after she died that she had been diagnosed with throat cancer, a secret that was kept from me as she knew I would have insisted on treatment; another mystery that I will never know. I myself use to use drugs with my mother, I have been clean for 10 years now but she did not get clean. It was very hard having to set boundaries that said if you're high you can't come by but I had to protect myself and my family. She would go weeks, sometimes months, without calling or coming by and that hurt me greatly. Especially my oldest son who was very close to her. Her addiction stole more than I can ever explain. And it didn't just hurt her it killed us all. There is a brokenness inside of me that will never heal until I go home to be with JESUS and I pray everyday that she made it so that I can see her face again. RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE I MADE IT SO CAN YOU.

Seeing me succeed, seeing her grandchildren happy, worshiping GOD, time with family.

EVERYTHING

Introduction

Bonnie Ann Carr, not only MY MOTHER, but my BEST FRIEND and SISTER. The best secret keeper I have ever known and one who would always listen and I knew never judged. A heart of gold, who would literally take her socks off her feet and give them to me. Beautiful from the inside out and never knew it. Talented beyond belief and never used it. A woman who will always have my heart and now drives me to tell her story as part of my very own testimony. I pray this saves lives.

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