The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

https://www.bustle.com/p/i-didnt-understand-the-opioid-crisis-until-it-…

I struggled with addiction in my family most of my life. This was no different for my son. I have been in recovery for 20 years and built a solid foundation for myself and my two kids. My drive was to get ahead of this disease and give my kids a life I didn't have. I knew early on that James was struggling with something more serious. We were in and out of counseling, support groups, rehabs, IOP's, APG' s, recovery for teens and families, recovery groups but nobody won. We all lost because there is no such thing as getting ahead of this disease. We miss him terribly. He had an infectious smile with an individual and unique personality. He loved to dress nicely and was so personable. He was a creative person with an intuitive nature about him. He enjoyed people and interacting with them. We miss everything about him. He left far too soon...but then again any child passing is too soon.

For wonderful funny stories and images, see facebook, instagram etc.

Here I will share Sam's long fight with mental illness and addiction, hoping that someone might relate and get help or help someone else.

Sam was diagnosed with ADHD in 4th grade. He took a wide variety of pills that worked for a while then didn't. He hated taking them - no appetite, felt depressed, etc. Once when I cleaned his room I found hundreds of pills stuck to the inside of his bed frame. He had a counselor at this time, Rick I think - great guy, but Sam said to me, "Nothing will change me."

He began misusing drugs and alcohol in high school (selling too). His grades were terrible, he cut classes. We thought that not allowing him to get his drivers license would be a good incentive but he just got rides from others. When I sent him to his room without phones, videos, TV, he just kicked the walls endlessly to let us know nothing would make a difference. When he turned 18, we told him he had to leave. He did not graduate from his high school. Aunt Nancy took him in for a while and he graduated from the one in her town.

Fast forward to his first real drug treatment. Drug of choice: Xanax. His friend Alex found Sam's biological father who was a psychiatrist at an addiction facility. He brought him there (Connecticut). He was given additional diagnoses: Bipolar and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He completed the 30 days, then went to step down in  California. He started to rebel and things went south.

Years later, in Charleston, he OD'd a few times, the worst about a year ago - needed Narcan, came very close to dying. A couple of weeks later he agreed to an inpatient program for 8 days. He came home with us and went to AA meetings every day. He'd been prescribed Latuda, which was great, but I think he started cutting back on the dose along the way. Savior Alex popped up again inviting him to Phoenix. He did better these last 10 months than ever before - worked in  restaurants, was never late! He got in a motorcycle accident a few weeks ago, required hand surgery and of course had some narcotics. To what extent this led to his death, I don't know, but I've read countless stories like this over the last couple of years with tens of thousand of people dying of this insane addiction. And it could have been other things but it doesn't matter. He's gone. Please whoever's out there stop this madness.

My beautiful daughter, Shelby, loved to read and write her entire life. She loved nature, especially butterflies. She would collect insects and take photos of them and even put together a notebook of the insects she had found. Throughout childhood, Shelby would read in her bed with a flashlight late into the night. She even earned an award in elementary school for being the "Most Behaved Student". Shelby had a huge heart and would often spend hours listening to friends who were struggling or hurting. Shelby's senior year she experienced several painful things that sent her deep into depression. Shelby attempted suicide that year and after a long night at the ER, she was moved to a youth suicide facility. Shelby was prescribed medications for depression and anxiety and eventually medications for sleep. She was in a toxic, abusive relationship for years after high school and she eventually turned to heroin to help numb her pain. She struggled with many past hurts but always stayed close to me and wanted a better life. Last October, Shelby knew she had hit the bottom and asked me to help her. I took her to a 25 day treatment program where she excelled and found herself again. Her counselor told me that she was a leader and was very focused on her sobriety and helping others. She asked to continue treatment at a sober living home for women in Soledad California where she continued to excel and become very excited about her future. She wanted to become an addiction counselor. After 3 months, she was homesick and asked to come home. She was enjoying her new life and had just gotten a job. She did her taxes and was so happy she would have enough to pay off all legal debts and fines. She celebrated 5 months sober and was enjoying being home and away from the toxic relationship and drugs. On March 7, she had a probation meeting that went so well she texted me during the meeting to tell me she was so excited and would call as soon as it ended. She called me and sounded so positive and excited. She was doing it, and they told her she was doing well and would be able to waive a lot because of her treatment reports and sobriety. She sounded so happy when she called me at 4:07pm and told me she was on her way home and she loved me and would see me at dinner. That would be her last phone call or communication with anyone. She had told a friend that she was being pulled by heroin that morning since she was near her old area. She apparently got some and used it right after our call. Minutes after we hung up, she pulled off the interstate and crawled in the back seat and died immediately. It was pure fentanyl. She and I were so close, and it destroyed me. I am a runner and have dedicated every mile I run to honor her and raise awareness to help other families dealing with addiction. I just raised over $1,000.00 for the Shatterproof 5K Atlanta and I run every race in tie dye now because of her love for tie dye. When people ask about my tie dye, it gives me a platform to share her story and honor her memory.

My son and I met Anthony on the first day of school in first grade. They were both new to the school and each came home saying they have a new best friend.

The boys stayed close and though some interests and activities changed, our small community of Laguna Beach kept everyone in the loop. Anthony tragically lost his mom in 1999 and a little light diminished in him that could not be rekindled. 

Anthony's substance use history is not clear to any of us, but we all knew he wanted to turn that light back on and for but a moment he may have felt like it was. 

We saw and spent time with this amazing red haired angel boy prior to his passing...he seemed sad. While he only spent 21 years here on earth, his light is on in heaven with his mama! We all love you boy!

Abbs was one of the best people I ever met. She was always there when you needed her. She loved to help people. She loved her kids and always wanted to be the best mom she could be. But unfortunately her addiction put limitations on the life she lived and drastically shortened her life. She died from an overdose not long after returning from a rehab in Florida. She was 28 years old.

Mike was the friend everyone wanted to have and to be.

My son Dylan, his best friend Noah, and Mike were college roommates in San Francisco. The first time I met Mike, his smile lit up the room. He was warm and friendly, not in the polite "be nice to parents" way, but genuine and authentic.

He cared about the world around him and made an impact in his short life.
A brilliant young man lost far too soon! He's still making an impact from above! XO

Jack was very intelligent, kind and a peace maker. He was an outstanding basketball player and a straight A student his entire life. He had goals and dreams of becoming an anesthesiologist and was well on his way to achieving just that. He took one pill that was poisoned with fentynal and died way too soon. He touched many lives over the years and is greatly missed by many many people. I speak his name daily and never stop thinking about him, never ever. I miss him so much it hurts. Singing with the angels and hanging out with his Dad, Jack will never be forgotten.

Justin was one of the most loving and kind people you could know. He started out using pain pills and marijuana when he was a teenager, He was a very shy person that had a lot of trouble meeting and talking to people. Eventually he met and fell in love with a girl named Rachel who is the mother of his children. He got a job roofing and they had a place. Then they both started with the heroin, and the addiction took over both of them. They moved back here and eventually she left. Justin was heartbroken. The children are with my nephew and his wife as they are in the process of adopting them. Justin was really shattered after he lost his babies. He was trying so hard to get it together and get sober for his children as well as himself but it just didn't happen. Justin was always willing to help anyone in need and would give you the shirt off of his back. My son was loved by everyone that knew him and he is missed by all. His son will never know his father and what a great guy he was. I thank God his daughter had almost 5 years with him before he passed away. His kids were his world and he loved them both with every fiber of his being. I want people to know that Justin was loved so much by all of us and we miss him every minute of every day. He wasn't a nobody; my boy was a somebody. If his story can save one life then his death will not be in vain. Justin was an organ donor and he did save other's lives by being a donor. Even though he was in a dark place he loved life and he loved his family with all of his heart. My son was one of my best friends and it shattered my heart to lose him. My life is forever changed. Justin touched a lot of hearts and he had a beautiful soul. I just want everyone that is lost to those demons called addiction to please seek help and don't be afraid. You can do this; you are a somebody and you are worth saving. Please don't have your loved one putting your last picture on this page telling your story like myself and so many others have had to do. Justin, I love you with all my heart and I always will. I hope you have found peace and you are flying high above with the angels. I will never forget you son and all of the joy you brought to my life and so many others. I miss you every day.

My mother was a strong woman. She battled with addiction for many years but was the most selfless person ever. She was a mother of three and she had three sisters, two grandchildren, and help create a church. She tried to help others who struggled with addiction but unfortunately couldn’t kick her own. I miss her voice. I miss her laugh and this will be the first birthday I will not hear her.

Zackariah was only 22 when he lost his battle with his addiction. Our son will never get the chance to know that amazing man his father could have been. He gave our son his green eyes and his intelligence. We had a rocky relationship but my heart is filled with nothing but love for the man that helped give life to the amazing little boy I call my son. We miss you every day.

Jordan was one of the happiest little boys you’d ever meet from the minute he surprised us and decided he wanted to be born on halloween day. He was a lover of all things in nature and was happiest at the turtle pond or catching frogs. His struggle began in his teenage years, but his love for his family, his mom in particular, never faltered, not even for a second. He showed up for family ALWAYS putting all of his personal struggles aside, even spending his last night on this earth helping his mom celebrate her anniversary. The last text he sent her was “be careful driving tonight mom the roads are bad” always thinking of others!!! He is missed more than words could ever describe and we are left with shattered hearts trying to pick up the pieces and figure out how to go on.

John was a good man with a loving heart. He got mixed up with drugs when he was introduced to meth while he struggled to work an overnight shift at a 24 hour gym. Before long, he was addicted, which ironically cost him his job, his livelihood, and his relationships with his family. His drug use compounded his mental state after his mother died. He distanced himself from everyone and spent his life on the streets of Las Vegas.
John wanted to change his life. He wanted help but addiction was cheaper, easier. He ultimately died of a heart attack, meth related...alone.
His girlfriend wanted to save him and start the life they dreamed of with their 4 year old daughter, Mia. But she was in California with family...getting help herself. And when she went to find him, it was too late. He died just 6 days shy of his 37th birthday.
We walk for John, if his story saves just one life...his death will not have been in vain.

Charlene Curtiss- daughter, sister, aunt, grandmother, and best friend
She was a protective big sister and loved her nieces and nephews who she would often spoil. If you asked her friends, they would introduce her to you as funny, loyal, and always willing to lend a helping hand. This was all before her addiction took control of her life. Her family and friends miss the woman we all knew.
She grew up 1 of 3 children in St Matthews S.C. She met Pete Curtiss and they married in 1989. She and Pete were blessed with 3 beautiful children, Amanda Nichole, Kayli Renee, and Peter J.
Charlene was not afraid to step up and help others and could often be found caring for others’ and helping out in the church nursery. The door was always open to their home and anything she had, others were welcomed to. During her husband’s stint in the military, Charlene met many friends and created lasting friendships. Charlene had a love for her family and friends but most of all she loved the Lord.
Many may know that military life is not always easy and comes with many sacrifices and separations. She experienced health problems that lead to her misusing prescription drugs. Medications that were prescribed to her by her doctors that were meant to help her ultimately robbed her of almost all of her quality of life and relationships.
Following an almost 20-year marriage, the family unit was suffering. Divorce came, followed by estranged relationships. Our once devoted wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, and best friend was traveling a road of destruction. Health conditions robbed her of peace and painless days over the next number of years. The loss of her own mother was tough for Charlene as well. Before she knew it, her addiction to opioids and other prescription meds left her living alone in an assisted living facility, unable to live and love independently as before. She was separated from family and close friends.
March 16, 2011 Charlene had posted on Facebook, “Ok well God knows what is going on in life and I need to remember I am his child and he holds me in his hands! Thank you, God for that promise of salvation and security.” Despite her troubles she would still reach out to those who loved her and knew her for the kind and gentle soul she was. However, the long distance and discorded relationships were not enough to help restore her health or her happiness.
Today and always, her family and friends are left to mourn her death but can rejoice in her Heavenly healing. On Tuesday morning, our beloved family member and friend was freed from a prison of guilt and torment and physical pains. She is no longer bound by opioids and prescription drugs and physical ailments, she has been set free!

Romans 8:35-39 KJV 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written, for thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. 37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Here follows the sermon our wonderful minister delivered at his Celebration of Life:

A Celebration of Resurrection – Jiri Parma Fletcher – September 1, 2018
Isaiah 61.1-3 – Mark 4.37-41 – The Rev. Sarah D. Odderstol

"Why? Why did this happen, Lord? Why did a brilliant, beautiful, empathetic, loving, young man die from addiction and overdose? Why?

Because you are here, because you knew and loved and cared for Jiri, no doubt, you have been asking the same kinds of questions. If you are hoping that I can answer your why questions, I am about to disappoint you. Jesus, himself, asked the same kind of question from the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And God…God was silent.

This silence, a silence that leaves us with no answer to our why questions, can lead people to say some pretty unhelpful things. Among them are: “This must have been a part of God’s plan.” and “God needed Jiri more than we did.” Or my personal favorite…“Everything happens for a reason.” My friends, everything doesn’t happen for a reason. Saying everything happens for a reason is like saying that addiction has some sort of divine purpose. That is ludicrous. While it is comforting to think that God needed Jiri in heaven that would imply that God wills us to suffer.

Jiri’s death is not God’s will. Causing Jiri’s family, Gabriel, and all Jiri’s friends, pain and grief is not a part of God’s plan. God wills for each and every one of us to have long, happy, healthy lives. Sometimes life gets in the way. Today, God’s heart is broken. Today, God grieves with us.

So, I have a question for you, “Has God ever answered your why questions?” Why is there poverty? Why do you allow children to die? Why is life so unfair? I have never received an answer to my why prayers. I don’t know anyone who has.

This is a question that intrigues me, “Why doesn’t God answer the question why?” The word why is used some 488 times in the English translation of the Bible. Of course, not all of these whys are questions posed to God. Of the “whys” asked of God, I have yet to find an instance where God actually answered the question why. That does not mean however that God did not respond. God seems to prefer to redirect. Let me give you an example.

In the book of Numbers, Moses had been leading the people of Israel in circles in the wilderness for decades when finally Moses had enough. The people complained about the food and the accommodations. This was not the scenic tour they thought they signed up for… Moses said to God, “Why have you treated your servant so badly? Why have I not found favor in your sight?” God did not give Moses an answer to his whys, but God did, however, offer Moses a ‘what now’. God told Moses to gather seventy elders to help in the task of leadership. God will respond with a “what now” if we are willing and able to listen.

So, what now? All of you now KNOW someone who has died from an opioid overdose. The opioid crisis is real! Talk to your family and friends about addiction and the dangers of opioid use. Lobby for increased access to quality addiction treatment; demand funding so that the cost of treatment doesn’t bankrupt families. Learn from Jiri’s death.

But also learn from Jiri’s life! Jiri had healing hands; he saved multiple lives with the skills he learned as a lifeguard. What’s to stop you from getting your CPR certification? Learn about Narcan, insist that your state sell this lifesaving overdose treatment over the counter.

Be curious, welcome strangers, love your grandma, explore the outdoors, dance in the rain…embrace your colorful, kind, unfiltered, and goofy self. People will thank you for it!

Sascha Daniels and Jiri were each other’s first friends. They spent hours exploring the woods around their neighborhood and Grandma Phyllis’ house. Where other children may have been fearful of things they didn’t understand, Jiri got curious and learned. Even as a little girl, Sascha cherished the time she spent with Jiri; with Jiri she had no inhibitions: she picked up bugs, got dirty, and learned about the outdoors. From Jiri and his family, Sascha learned to try new foods; she learned about other cultures. Sascha told me, “By being around Jiri, I learned to expose myself to new things, and I believe this really laid a foundation for who I became as an adult with such a strong interest in other countries and cultures.”

Learn from Jiri’s life. Be generous with yourself. You will change lives. Jiri changed lives.

Jiri weathered storm after storm in his lifetime. Jiri was born with a birth defect. When he was old enough to ask, he wanted to know why. Why did this happen to me? There is no answer to that question that can satisfy a child. Jiri was bullied in middle school. Then the surgery to correct his birth defect left him addicted to opioid painkillers and led to his heroin addiction. Is it any wonder that Jiri questioned God’s existence and was disdainful of organized religion? Life gave Jiri too few reasons to be able to believe in a good and loving God. Does this mean Jiri is lost?

In our story from Mark’s Gospel, did Jesus abandon his disciples when they panicked for their lack of faith as the chaos of their storm overwhelmed them? Jesus could have just walked away, you know. He did have a gift for walking on water. No! Jesus had compassion for them and he saved them despite their fears and lack of faith.

God’s mercy and love and compassion are beyond human comprehension. It is human hubris to think that we can set limits on our creator’s mercy. God’s love knows no limit. Jiri has returned to the God who created him…to the God who loves him.

One final what now…when you talk about Jiri and tell your friends about the man you loved and cared for, please do not say, he lost his battle with addiction. This implies that Jiri’s death was ultimately his own fault. He lost – had he just tried a little harder he could have beaten his addiction. No… Addiction is a disease that becomes terminal when someone overdoses or when overuse causes the body to fail.

Until addiction is talked about in the same way we talk about ALS or dementia or leukemia, addiction will carry with it a shadow of shame…as if having addiction or dying from addiction is the result of a personal failure. We – all of us – can change the way we talk about addiction. I wonder…maybe when people hear us talk about addiction differently, they will come to think about addiction differently. And when people think about addiction differently, addiction becomes a disease whose prevention and treatment are worth funding. Could happen!

Jiri Parma Fletcher lived a life worth learning from…with our help; Jiri’s death will make a difference."

Words cannot express the myriad of feelings we have experienced since this happened and we are soooo thankful to our friends and family for standing with us through this unbelievably difficult time. While nothing can change what has happened, we wish to keep the Love and Memories alive and continue to share Jiri with you as best we can. This is why we have chosen to devote our lives to telling our story in hopes we can help others find the path to their "True Journey to Recovery".

Words cannot express how important it is to help those suffering from addiction find a path to recovery! So if you know someone who needs help PLEASE do not turn your back! Instead, reach out for them to let them know there is hope, and try and help them find their own path to saving their life. Recovery is a "Celebration of Life" in itself and it begins with Forgiveness be it the 1st, 2nd, or even the 10th time. If we can help save just one life along the way we will have made the lives already lost of even more value.

So Please ... join us if you can in Celebrating Recovery!!

Love to All,

Carl and Dasha Fletcher

Steven was a kind, lovable, mischievous little boy who loved his family.
He earned his black belt in Karate from McCoy's Action Karate in Auburn in 2004.
Steven began to struggle with drugs around 2008 and could not escape the hold they had on him. No matter how many times he tried or how many rehabs he entered, the hold was just too great. He began using DXM, which to most of us is simply an over the counter cough medicine, but to so many young people today is the drug of choice. This drug caused him to be hospitalized on numerous occasions and made his addiction to drugs spiral out of control.
Steven tragically lost his battle on October 19, 2018 and will be greatly missed by his family and friends.
If the love of his family could have saved him, he would have lived forever, as they tried everything possible to help him overcome this disease.

Chris' childhood was filled with abuse that unfortunately continued into adulthood due to forming a trauma-bond with her abuser; "Mom". Chris began using drugs as an adolescent to escape reality and to "not feel anything". She overdosed the first time at the age of 18. Her "friends" panicked and dragged her unconscious body into a cold shower, which caused a heart attack, ultimately killing her. After abandoning her, they concocted a story and called for paramedics, claiming that she had forced her way in to shoot up. The time wasted on their departure and imagination cost her brain valuable oxygen. Good samaritan/overdose immunity laws did not yet exist and could have prevented this. She was brought back, but with significant heart damage and cognitive function issues. Those issues caused the codependency to strengthen, allowing the abuse to continue on. Eventually, the abuse rekindled her need for escape, and she again turned to drugs. She was never taught the dangers of cross over addiction, and so she was never truly sober. After stopping heroin, she took up excessive drinking, misusing prescription painkillers, then marijuana, and lastly back to heroin again. It was a heroin fentanyl mix that took her life, for the last time, in April of 2018. Her body went undiscovered for over 12 hours in a room of the home of her abuser. She died alone and in pain.

Natalie was an amazing big sister, mother, and daughter. She loss her battle to heroin on July 24,2018. She was extremely brave!! We love you and miss you very much.