The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

I miss my son so much, words can hardly say. A piece of my heart is gone. I miss his phone calls and the little things he did as a caring son. He was an extremist in skateboarding, water boarding, and snow skiing. I love him so. He was such a precious gift to me.💙

My son was a wonderful person even with his addiction. He struggled with this demon for 11 years. It wasn't an every day thing for him, but when he used he went hard at it. There were many nights I would stay awake to keep checking on him if I knew he was using. He never even knew I did that. He OD'd twice before it finally took him. I remember getting him off the floor and trying to keep him moving until the ambulance came. His father found him out cold face down in the shower. There are too many bad times to talk about, but through it all I never stopped loving him. I was never ashamed of him. I just wanted my son to get better. This addiction led to many times in jail, rehab, and halfway houses. None of this worked. He had gone over a year without using but that devil on his shoulder came calling. Three different types of fentanyl was found in his system. My life will never be the same again. He was my only child. If he could have gotten therapy and drug counseling I think things may have turned out differently. I think we need to find out why they use, what pain are they trying to escape from? All I can tell you is this needs to stop. So many of his friends are also gone. No mother should ever have to go through the pain of losing her baby. It's a pain that I can't even explain. He took a big piece of me when he left. My heart is shattered....I love you Butch, Always and Forever..mom...Forever my angel

My son was my baby, my heart, and soul! He struggled with addiction from the age of 15! Our hearts are shattered!!

Nick struggled with substance use disorder for nine years. What I miss the most is hearing his I love you every time he left the house or ended a phone call.

Matthew fought a hard fight for six years. He finally had enough and sought help. Matt was a Union Pipefitter, loved his job, family, friends, and his cat Hamilton. He was 2 1/2 years sober living a great life. He was a sponsor and never gave up helping others. I miss his jokes, his love, and smiles. You are forever with me Matthew.

Jordan was a sweet loving person, he loved to travel and was a talented graffiti artist. He had two fur babies he loved so much, Hugo and Norman. He helped so many people in his sobriety... He is missed more then words can express by his family and his friends, we will never be the same. He brought so much joy to so many. Our lives are changed forever.

We will forever miss your beautiful smile, sense of humor, endless conversations about any topic imaginable, your undying love for us and your nephews, your awesome and crazy dance moves, your musical abilities to play anything you picked up and your brilliant writing and artistic drawings. You filled a huge part of our family that now consists of an open hole that will never be filled. We love you so much and hope you truly have found the peace and serenity you long looked for. I pray your pain from mental health issues and your addiction are no longer felt. But instead, you see the beauty you believed would one day be waiting for you. We love you with all our hearts and will miss you forever.

Throughout her life she battled with addiction on and off, but continually turned to Jesus as her source of hope and strength. She was a bright light to her three daughters and entire family. Our lives are dimmer without her in it. She hated her addiction and has left a legacy to fight for those that battle the way she did. We miss her SO much!

Justin was an energetic, funny loving kid. He was always laughing and smiling. As life went on the light in his eyes faded as I watched the son I loved slowly disappear. Though he was still trying to carry on as always, the spark inside him was dimming. He made the decision to get help but two days before his planned entrance into rehab he lost his fight and that light that flowed from within him is lost forever. We as a family are lost and broken. I miss my son, my friend, my heart.

He fought depression and PTSD.
He self medicated early starting with marijuana then progressed to heroin and cocaine.
He never wanted to be addicted to drugs, he wanted a family, children, a life! He had so much to live for.

Michael was the life of the party! Always had a joke to crack, a helping hand to lend, and a protective soul like no other! If he wasn’t on the farm working with animals, which Mike had done his whole life, you could find him at the local country bar rocking the dance floor! My brother was my first dance partner. Michael sparked my love for line dancing. I will forever remember him as my best dance partner! This was a time of love, laughter, and happiness. There was no darkness we all know too well, addiction. Once Michael became addicted, he lived two lives. One full of darkness and one full of light. Michael protected his family and friends from that dark side for as long as he could. Even if it meant pushing others away. As my father said at his funeral, it wasn’t because he didn’t love you... it’s because he loved you so much! So much that he wanted to protect everyone from the dark side. During his time as a sober, free soul, you could find him educating the local addiction support group. Bringing loved ones together! Explaining to so many a side that so many will never see. Mike brought understanding and education! He always said “If there was a pill to make people feel what t feels like to go through withdrawal there would be no stigma!” I am here to continue to allow Michael to live on! To end the stigma! May he look down on all of these people fighting the same fight and be proud. Michael will forever be missed by family and friends!!!!

Buddy was an amazing person. He had a heart of gold and genuinely cared about everyone he knew. He was a great father, loving son, and an incredible best friend. He would give his shirt off his back to anyone who needed it. Buddy loved music and always spoke of his family and how much they meant to him. Buddy was extremely intelligent and funny. He was resilient in his battle with addiction. Buddy was my best friend and not a day goes by that I don't think of him.

This is the eulogy I gave for my son one week ago:

Judson was my first child. I don’t know how to sum up his life in 10 minutes but I will do the best I can. He was born in 1983. He was a sweet child with huge blue eyes and blond hair. He was always quiet and inquisitive. 
He enjoyed being a big brother to his sister Lilly.

As a family we did a lot of things together. We took trips to upstate New York to Lake Champlain and stayed with Uncle Jesse and Aunt Vera. We took trips to the Outer Banks with his grandmother, Ganna, and his Aunt Lina and cousins Isabel Emma and Paul.

He was involved in all sorts of activities: Art classes, summer camps, karate, basketball, swimming lessons.

One of my favorite memories was reading him bedtime stories every night when he was very young.That is how his love of books began. His very favorite was " Where the wild things are" by Maurice Sendack. I believe that a lot of his artwork was inspired by that book.

He shared a love of animals with his sister and stepfather Ed. There was a never ending parade of dogs, cats, Guinea pigs, hamsters, and fish in our house.

He became a musician from an early age. He was in several bands. A lot of his former band mates are here today. I got to see him perform in public a few times and I was so proud of him.

Judson was the most misunderstood person I have ever known. He looked tough with the tattoos and piercings and he often didn't show much expression. But that was because he didn't want the world to see how sensitive he was. He loved his family. He loved his friends and his pets. Sal was his favorite dog in the world and his best friend.

Yet, he was very strong as well. He refused to alter anything about himself to please those who demanded conformity. In his younger years that often got him in trouble because many authority figures felt threatened by the way he looked and the fact that he didn’t care that it bothered them. He was never afraid to stare down hypocrisy. Even if it meant that he would be punished for it. He didn’t flinch. He was going to be Judson no matter what. I respect him for that. 

He went about his life peacefully, with a quiet dignity. He had a fierce intellect that many were in awe of. He had a sharp and quick wit that few could match. He was funny. He would come up with hilarious one liners. He could have an intelligent and informed conversation on just about any topic. He was very well read and self-educated. He hated ignorance, intolerance,injustice, and hypocrisy. He did not suffer fools.

He was very private and only a few people really knew him well. Yet, he was loved and adored by many. I joke that for being such a self-professed introvert, he sure had a lot of friends.

In his more recent years, he started doing the wonderful art that we have on display today. He always loved monsters. He loved dressing up in costumes for Halloween. One of his best costumes was when his aunt Linda helped him dress up as Dracula. So in much of his art the theme is monsters. I’m so glad we have his art and music to remember him by.

Judson had a problem with drug addiction. He struggled with it for many years--too many. And he hated it. He wanted so badly to put it behind him. He really tried.
He lived a good life in spite of it. His spirit and mind thrived in spite of it. His creativity flourished in spite of it.
The drug addiction was a disease that he fought for a long time and he ultimately lost that fight. But it did not define him. He was so much more. It doesn’t mean he was weak. He was anything but weak. It was not a character flaw. Judson had an excellent character. It was not a moral issue. Judson had very strong morals.

It’s time to stop treating drug addiction like a dirty little secret. Many families affected by addiction remain silent out of shame. But there is nothing to be ashamed of. It does not reflect on the parents and families of those who struggle with addiction. It can happen in ANY family. It does not discriminate. Talking about it and becoming educated about it will go a long way towards helping to eradicate it.

I’m going to read a poem Judson wrote about his struggle with addiction that I found when going through his things just a few days ago.

You could call me a pugilist
I’m a self destructive prize fighter
Going round for round and blow for blow
Solo.
But I only fight in the dark.
And I’ve only ever lost.
This is a knock down drag out twelve round dog fight
And I’m going home with the belt if I lose.
My record is abysmal
Because my opponent is miserable
And this fight will never end until one of us dies.
Who will be the lucky loser

In Judson’s honor, please remember him well. Plant a flower in your garden for him. When you behold the breathtaking beauty of nature think of him. When you're at the ocean listening to the sound of the waves crashing think of him. When you are celebrating something significant in your life like your wedding, raise your glass in his honor. When you look up in the night sky and see a million twinkling stars think of Judson. He was an extraordinary man and I want him to be remembered for all of the wonderful things that made him uniquely Judson. And he was very unique.

I love you Judson. I’ll see you on on the other side. May you rest in peace and be surrounded by angels. I’ll never stop missing you. None of us will.

Jamie was a beloved mother, wife, sister, and best friend. She passed away at 32. Her struggle with addiction didn't manifest until her adult years. She graduated high school, then became a nurse at a corrections facility. Jamie went into recovery and decided to become a drug and alcohol counselor while attending school. She had a relapse on alcohol, passed out behind the wheel of her vehicle, and she went to the ICU where she remained for 3 weeks. She broke her back and was then prescribed heavy amounts of OxyContin while still attending school and trying to fight her fight with addiction. It had been time to pull her off the prescription pain pills after multiple detox stays and endless days of withdrawal. Her story is like so many others. She turned to heroin. Jamie had been in treatment and 30 days sober before her last relapse. She picked up where she left off and died on October 30, 2018 of a heroin overdose. She was set to graduate the week that she passed away. Jamie's struggle is over but her story has not ended.

Travis was a kind and caring person who always put others ahead of himself. We have had many parents tell us that Travis helped their kids in high school. He stopped many bullies from affecting his friends. His issues started after his freshman year of high school. He was a great wrestler as a freshman. He had emergency surgery on his leg in the summer after this year. He had "compartment syndrome" and was 30 minutes away from losing his leg. He was on a morphine pump for a week in the hospital. This was when his addiction started. His best friend then died in an ATV accident five months later. He went from pain pills to self-medicating with marijuana. He then had his wisdom teeth removed. More pain pills. We believe his heroin addiction started when the pain pill prescription ended. He was functioning while suffering from addiction. Working hard as an assistant manager and driver for Papa John's pizza. He was arrested on Thanksgiving morning of 2016 on his way home from work. He admitted his dependence to us. We luckily found a rehab center that had one opening. That Saturday we checked him in for a 30 day stay. He was released on December 27th of 2016. His counselors were enthusiastic about Travis's time there. They thought he had a great chance to make it. He immediately went from rehab to sober living. He was put on 5-day probation 7 days later because he drank a beer during a football game. We welcomed him home for the 5 days. He immediately made arrangement to be readmitted to the sober living house. His first day home was a great day. The old Travis was back. We had great conversations with him. He had to go to a meeting every night for his sober house reentry. He was going to them. The next day was okay but we could tell there was a change with him. The third day was a little worse. We could tell something was wrong. He would not talk about it. We found him passed on his bedroom floor the next morning. He is greatly missed. I miss all the things that a parent looks forward to with a child.

Nate was one of the most genuine people you will ever meet. He was always so much fun and the life of the party. He was good to his friends and was very smart. You always knew when you saw Nate you were going to have a good time. He should have done stand up comedy. You could talk to him about anything and knew you could trust him. He had many friends that truly miss him and whose lives changed forever after knowing him.

Bryce was always a very active and happy child. He started walking at 10 months and never slowed down. He loved motor cross, bicycles, snowboarding, jet skiing, high dives, anything daring. He loved his family and friends and would do anything for them. He loved animals and would often bring home strays to take care of. His laughter was contagious and he had beautiful blue eyes. He became an iron worker hanging steel primarily in the Bay Area, CA, working on sky scrappers. He loved his job, which is not surprising since it takes a lot of courage to hang from buildings hundreds of feet in the air. His problem with substance use started in his mid-20s and started with Oxycontin, which led to heroine addiction. He had tried to quit several times, sometimes for months, sometimes for a year at a time, but he just couldn't seem to concur this horrible affliction as much as he wanted to. He eventually developed a heart infection from using needles, which ultimately led to a blood clot that traveled to his brain causing a stroke and then a second stroke. Living in this world without him is unimaginable, he truly was so amazing and so loved by so many people. All I can hope for now is that his story might help even one other person or parent not have to go through this pain. The end of his life was filled with a lot of pain and suffering, which breaks our hearts, but his life was so full and beautiful for the majority of his years in this world. We just wish this had never happened and that he could have had so many more years with us, without pain.

Bailey had the biggest personality I had ever met. His smile would light up a room like you wouldn’t believe. Bailey didn’t deserve this. We did everything we possibly could to prevent this outcome, one we feared for many years. Help was somewhat there, but it was half-assed; more drugs were attainable in rehabs than at home. MY SON DIED. I want revenge and so much more! I want to change the face of addiction and rise up! I refuse to let my son be just a statistic. I will do whatever it takes to show the world how devastating this disease truly is.