The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

My brother Russ was a great person. He was kind to everyone and would drop everything to help someone. He was a wonderful friend, son, and uncle. He loved boating, fishing, playing the accordion, and being around people.

His struggles started early in his teens with alcohol. My parents took him to counseling, tried "tough love", etc. He was diagnosed in his twenties with bipolar disorder but his doctor just gave him meds and no direction to seek counseling to learn coping skills, so he began to drink more until that wasn't working.

I knew he smoked pot on occasion but it wasn't until after his death and autopsy that I found out he was using opioids. Apparently my parents and I were in the dark as many of his friends knew but no one said anything to us. He was such a high functioning addict we never knew. He worked his whole life, owned his own house, paid his bills, etc.

I always thought he just struggled with alcoholism and would research rehab places for him that took his insurance and show him. Most of the time he would get pissed at me and say I was just no fun, but one time he told me "what would I do if I went there and wasn't me anymore, I'm the life of the party, I'd lose all my friends." That broke my heart.

The last conversation I had with him was a few days before he died, and he sounded really tired. I asked him if anything was wrong and he said that I worry too much. Then he was gone.

I can't imagine the daily struggle he went through, to not only deal with a mental illness but several addictions as well as the fear and shame that go with them. I am glad he is finally at peace but I miss him dearly.

Please if you know someone who is in trouble with addiction, say something. Yes they may hate you, but it's the right thing to do.

My sweet Charles was a such a kind, outgoing, caring young man. He left behind two beautiful babies when he passed. He’d struggled with addiction for several years but had been working on getting clean. He tried so hard to fight the demons that had him chained in the dungeon of addiction. I watched my baby fight so hard to beat it. He would do great until one of his so-called friends would call or message him saying they had the devil's folds and, as all addicts know, when you first start down this recovery road it’s not too bad till you hear of someone personally having it and they’ll bring you some and you pay them later or whatever the case is at the time. My sweet boy had a rough life growing up and I blame myself everyday for him becoming an addict because I’m one, but I’ve been on this road to recovery for three years now and I was trying to help him walk it with me. I always thought to myself how great it would be if we could walk this road together as we did in 2013, when we both got our GED and walked the graduation stage together, that this would be another great accomplishment that we could concur together. But my dreams of that were shattered into a million pieces. I struggle everyday to stay clean. It's so much harder now because I’d love nothing more than to go get it and forget I was alive for a while. This pain is indescribable and the grieving never ends. I cry everyday. I beg for him to come back, but I know I’ll never be that blessed. But I push through for his babies, because I know he’d want me to make sure they live the happiest life possible, and that they know he loves them very much, and he’s always with them no matter what and they can talk to him. So as long as I’m alive my baby's name will remain heard. His story will be repeated every chance I get and his babies will know what a wonderful daddy they had and that he went to be with Jesus because Jesus needed a special angel just for them, and he knew their daddy was the only one that could watch them and protect them the way they need to be protected. I know this is all over the place but so is my mind. I struggle to get everything out in words nowadays so please excuse the wording. I hope everyone can make sense of what I’m trying to say. I pray for everyone who has lost a loved one or child, for there's no worse pain in the world that’ll ever compare to losing a child. Thanks for reading my sweet boy short story. May god touch and bless us all xoxo

I refuse to let your death be in vain and I will not allow the monsters who sell this poison to people who have a sickness be able to hide in the dark and continue to kill off more of my family, friends and neighbors while I stand by quietly and say nothing for fear of being shamed or judged... Because in doing so we allow it too continue and help them to exist and to be able to hide in the shadows... When we share our stories we bring this subject into the light ...and without our voices there will be no change ......It's a sickness, not a shame ....
My bother would give a stranger he never met the shirt from off his back ....and no matter what his faults or mine were ....it never changed the love we had for each other, and if the subject had been discussed along time ago u wouldn't be reading this post.

I grew up with her and her family in Lexington, KY. We were sisters not in blood but in heart. Losing her has been painful and remembering her I will do till I'm gone. She lost her life to heroin. She is missed and loved by her family and her children Ray, Keneatha, Brittany and Kayla.. They miss her dearly.. Her absence in their lives is heart breaking.. Her sister Lisa is lost without her.. But she will never be forgotten and she left us way too early.. RIP my sister, we love you and miss you so very much..

Teresa and I were married for 17 years. She was a sweet, innocent spirit who struggled with addiction throughout her life in addition to bi-polar disorder. As her disease progressed she got more desperate and was institutionalized over and over again, each time receiving inadequate care essentially for detox only. In the summer of 2019 I attempted to get her long-term treatment in a substance abuse program that I worked in, however, they refused to take her without explanation although I had been a therapist there for 12 years. While this angered me it devastated her, and she continued to spiral further out of control until I could find placement. During the interim she had to be placed back in a psychiatric hospital for stabilization. She was alienated from her family and had me and our little dog Sweetness for support. However, as much as I tried I couldn't fill the void she felt from the abandonment of her family. Her last day she said that her peers in treatment felt she deserved Another Chance. I always felt like she deserved one and attempted time and again to give it to her. I feel like the system failed her and left her disease to progress for no reason, setting her up to die. As her self esteem was already so low, she never recovered from the rejection of not being accepted into treatment at a place I spent 10 to 12 hours a day working. She died one day after returning home from treatment due to an accidental drug overdose, a combination of prescribed medications and alcohol. She was 54. I resigned the day she died.

He was a caring, genuine, hard working man. He was a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend and much more to many people. He is deeply missed.

Son, brother, father, nephew, uncle, true friend, kind soul, biggest heart. Sweetheart. I will love you more than forever!

Jay was my best friend. He was struggling with addiction but, like us all, we don’t show our struggles. He was a great friend, a great father, and a caring person. He won’t be forgotten, along with so many others of my friends I lost. Everyone talks about corona, but this epidemic has claimed more lives than covid19 in America, but yet our government did nothing to help until they realized how bad it was, then started funding. By that time the damage was done!

My Dad was the strongest man I know. He was a union electrician for over 30 yrs till he fell 14 feet when his safety harness broke and would never recover and evidently turned to drugs and alcohol to ease his pain and stress of not being able to support his family as he wanted to. He got tired of all the run arounds with drs to get medication to help him, and his injury evidently caused him to develop and suffer from mental illness as well. And it seemed to be just a never ending merry go round of nightmares for him and his loved ones. And he ended up over medicating and suffered a heart attack in his sleep. It was the WORST AND SADDEST DAY OF MY LIFE. But I have to stay strong for him. And to know he is finally at peace and isn't in pain anymore eases my mind.... FOREVER LOVED AND MISSED UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN. YOUR GRASSHOPPER, MELISSA. REST EASY, DADDY. I LOVE YOU 😘⚡R.D.E.Sr.⚡
⚡06*07*1959-01*07*2011⚡

Lucas, my adored boy, my greatest gift, my greatest heartache. Born with astute curiosity and a rare combination of strengths, he was also confronted by an undiagnosed physical ailment that led to 7 hours of surgery when he was shy of his 4th birthday. Unbeknownst to most as he was way ahead in the charts and physically tall, active and strong, we also wondered what all of the physical intervention and trauma left on his young mind and heart. To boot, opioids were part of his treatment during his hospital visits and surgery..... As Luc developed, his academic, artistic and athletic abilities developed just as quickly. By 10th grade, Lucas was an all-county soccer player, on varsity basketball and went on to play in the Jewish Olympic basketball tournament. He was named "Little Agassi" by tennis instructors, played the piano, and on and on. But quietly I watched a young man struggle with his identity, question his worthiness and underestimate his enormous value. Smoking pot took all that anxiety, fear and self degradation away, however temporarily. As he prepared for college, my fear grew as my heart and mind knew we were headed for trouble. What we shared was profound and true and real, a great love....and equal to that was the worry, the confusion, the signs. After four treatment facilities and relapses, I watched in disbelief. Lucas was filled with heart and kindness and compassion, often running to save, support, and lend a hand to others. Sadly, he was unable to give that to himself. My only thought was how can I save my beloved child? I could not, no matter how hard I tried. On December 19, 2016, I reached out to the Santa Monica police to check on Lucas as he had not responded to my text, quite unusual. That was the day my life changed forever. I am heartbroken. I miss everything about him; his giggle, his sweetness, his silliness, his affection, his attention, his determination, his hope, his wishes, his dreams, being his Mom (my greatest joy)....except the addiction. I pray Lucas is surrounding by light, at peace and without pain, holding our two pups in his arms and watching over me. I LOVE you Lucas. Forever your Mom.

Randy was an all around guy. He was a social butterfly; anywhere he went he knew somebody there. He could do anything he wanted to. His addiction inhibited him from being the person he was meant to be. He left behind two children, Rhiannon (me) and Rayden at the ages of 14 and 11. Addiction took away Randy's ability to watch his kids grow into adults and live their lives. He was very loved. He is missed by all everyday.

My brother, Shane, had such a big heart. He was a people person who could get along with anyone. He had this easygoing confidence about him that I always admired. I miss his smile, his sense of humor and the way he cared for others. Shane saw the good in people and was there to help his friends in need. I miss his friendship and the fun we had growing up. He's been gone almost a year now and it's hard to believe. I picture the life he would have lived, the life that was taken from him, because of addiction. There are no words to convey the grief. Shane was a beautiful, complicated soul and I hope he knows how much his life meant to so many. He will always be in the hearts and memory of those who knew and loved him. Shane was, and is, SO loved.

In 1996, when I was 19 yrs old, I met the love of my life. We dated for a few years before parting ways. In 2016, 20 years later, our hearts reunited, and we discovered that through all the distance and time we both had still been in love with each other. We truly were soul mates and wasted no time in starting a new life together. During the next few years we created so many beautiful memories. It felt like a dream come true for the both of us. But Jaime had been struggling with an addiction for most of his life and even with the love we shared there where some very dark days and days when I didn’t recognize the man that I loved so dearly. The drugs took over and there was no stopping them and the damage they did, mentally, physically and emotionally. Jaime fought every day though to be the man he really wanted to be, and he said that was the man he was when he was with me. He would tell me that he was going to be a better man for me or die trying. He felt that our love could conquer all and at times, on the good days, it really did. After being sober for almost 6 months, we were both hopeful for our future and “living our best lives together.” We got engaged on New Years Eve 2020. It was one the happiest days of my life. But only a week later, Jan 7th, 2020, Jaime relapsed, his heart stopped, and he spent the next 7 days in ICU on breathing machines with very little to no brain function. On Jan 14th, 2020 his family and I made the heart wrenching decision to take him off the machines. He often told me “You were my first true love and will be my last true love, until I take my last breath”, and surrounded by his family and myself he took his final breath, as I stroked his head and watched the color of life fade from his face and body. It was the worst day of my life. He was only 40 yrs old. Jaime’s fight was also my fight, and although we lost the battle together in the end, I learned so much from him and about addiction and how a person is NOT their addiction. He was far from that, he had a heart of gold, he was always there for everyone and made me a better person and strengthened my faith and relationship with God. He called me his “Earth Angel” but I don’t think he realized what an angel he was to me. I was honored and privileged to have his love and to fall in love with him over and over again. I am so grateful that I got to share the last few years of his life with him. No one can ever take that away or the beautiful memories he left me with that I will cherish forever.

John loved his children more than anything in this world. His two girls Chloe and Alicia where the light in his life. He was the best friend anyone could ask for. He's personally my best friend. He loved his family and his friends. Often goofy, he would do anything to put a smile on your face, after all he was born on April Fools Day. I want to call him daily but I am unable to anymore. To know him was to love him. We all miss you.

Kellie was my little sister. She was very outgoing, she was always laughing and making others laugh. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cystic fibrosis at a later age after being told her whole life that it was just asthma. Kellie was in alot of pain especially in the last few years of her life. She was an AMAZING daughter, sister, and mother. She loved her son so very much. Kellie is so very much missed by us all. Addiction does not have a face. It is a very real and scary thing. I miss hearing Kellie snort when she laughed, We all miss her so very much.

He was a brother, son and friend and was so loved by everybody!

James was our first-born. Our pride and joy. Was talking by 1 years old, began to read at 2. He loved to sing and play guitar, singing in the school and church choir for many years.
He was loved by everyone; easy-going, witty, quick to laugh. James loved the outdoors; camping & hiking. He was passionate about music, all genres, but especially the obscure stuff, it was fun learning from him. Tim & James played guitar together; oh, how I’ll miss that and hearing he and his sisters sing together.
He was a smart, immensely talented young man. But he struggled with anxiety and depression which led to his addiction. He fought it for years with multiple stints in rehabs and recovery communities. He had recently found more peace through practicing mindfulness. He found support through AA and a job with a company that supported guys in recovery. What led to this relapse and his death, we will never know. But I am forever thankful for the meaningful and positive conversations we got to have together the past couple of months.
We will forever miss his grin, his laugh, his great hugs. I will miss watching him graduate college, getting married, having kids. Drugs stole all of those things from us.
James leaves behind his parents, Tim and Ruth, younger sisters Audrey and Katie, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins and extended family; and countless friends.

His nickname was "Mikey" and he was my son's father and my best friend. We first met as teenagers and we were both involved in drugs. He was in and out of jail including federal prison. I had a crush on him since we first met. I thought he was adorable and he kept me from being ripped off by someone he knew. Several years later, after he had just gotten out of federal prison and I was going back to school at a community college, we hooked up. We decided to start seeing each other. We shared a few weeks of clean time together before he went to a federal drug and alcohol treatment facility as part of his court requirements. I was prescribed pain pills at the time for a car accident that I had two years prior. After I dropped him off at this treatment facility in Philadelphia I got into a car accident. I had taken too much pain medicine and it caused me to nod out in a traffic jam. During a nod I hit the driver in front of me. Fortunately no one in their vehicle was injured but I had totaled my car. Mikey was devastated as he was in this facility and could not be with me. He was always taking care of me. My grandmother died a week after I got out of the hospital and I moved up to my father's place in the mountains, three hours away from where I am originally from and that much further away from Mikey. When he got out of the federal treatment facility he came up to me and moved in. We lived there for about two years. He stayed by me and we both remained clean. The only thing that got in the way was the pain medicine that I had been on for the car accidents I was in. We had had enough of the mountains and decided to move back to Lancaster county. No sooner we came back then we started using again with people that we were friends with. It didn't last long because I went to jail for a retail theft and he had gone to rehab. When we both got out we moved in together again with a friend of the family. Several months later I found out I was pregnant. This was wonderful news to me because I had wanted to have children so badly but was told that it would be difficult for me to have children even if I could because of the endometriosis I was diagnosed with. I went through my 20's believing that I would never have children, and Mikey stayed by my side as I went through depression and back pain from accidents and taking pain pills in front of him but never going out to find drugs for himself. So now I'm finally pregnant. At this time, we are both on MAT. He was on Suboxone and I was on Methadone. It was working beautifully for both of us. After our baby boy was born I decided I wanted to get off of Methadone because we were traveling into a clinic daily to get my dose. I was lugging our baby in the extreme temperature and weather conditions and on public transportation to go a half hour away to this clinic. We had to catch two buses to get there. Mikey was always at our side carrying the stroller and the diaper bag when we got on and off of buses. We were a family. As I was tapering off of Methadone for some reason we decided to do some dope again. This was years after we'd been on MATs. What it came down to was I was able to stop. I was still on Methadone and I could stop the taper from dropping anymore and go back up if I needed. Mikey lost his Suboxone and started being away from home more for longer periods of time. I knew I couldn't just stop while he was still living with me because of people, places, and things. It was too much of a temptation for me. I didn't want to lose our baby due to Children and Youth. I made him move out after discussing it with my mother. It broke my heart to do it and I can still see his face when I told him what was happening. He was so hurt. That wasn't the end of us though. He came back often because he didn't have anywhere to stay and I couldn't stand to think of him being out in the cold or whatever extreme it may have been at the time. All I could imagine was finding out that he died in the woods somewhere because he froze to death. I loved him so much and I wanted him to come back home. I told him if he'd just get help and start working that he could come back home to us. I've thought it over so many times. Was I unfair or asking too much? He was a grown man and at the time he could have gone to his mother's and gotten a job. After several years of being on the street and in and out of rehabs I got a call from the coroner's office telling me that he was found dead. He had just left a rehab with an administrative discharge. He tried calling me but because I had him on speaker phone he hung up on me and died two days later. Both my son and I are heartbroken. He was probably trying to come home to us again and died on the way. I can't let my son lose his mother too. I refuse to leave my son for this disease any longer. I am now on Suboxone and I won't be getting off of another MAT just because I don't think I need it anymore. This is a lifelong disease. I want to be with my family for the rest of my life.

John was an amazing husband, a wonderful father and a devoted son who struggled with addiction for most of his adult life. He was the most intelligent person I have ever known with a heart of gold and a quick wit. I miss his sense of humor and his calm demeanor most. When he decided he could not struggle anymore, he intentionly overdosed. He was an organ donor and thus gave 6 people the “Gift of Life” just before Christmas 2018. We miss him so much!

Josh was a very giving person with a huge heart. He was always was fun to hang around with. He could play the guitar very well. There were many times we would go camping and sing around the fire. Josh stayed clean for a long time. Unfortunately the disease got the better of him. He was a great friend.