The National Addiction Memorial honors the loved ones we’ve lost.

AJ struggled with addiction for years, his poison..prescription anxiety meds..opiates. Though he was a happy soul on the out side, many days he struggled with depression. Fearing he was never good enough for anyone to love him, he often felt guilty for his addiction. For a while he was doing great except he traded one addiction for another after a while drinking in substitute...he finally went to rehab and got out New Years eve of 2012 we rang in the new year together. He was sober. He passed 14 days later. He was on life support for 8 days. The overdose caused an "anoxic brain injury" they called it. Most heartbreaking day of my life.

Andrew began experiment with drugs in high school, but his addiction happened in college in 2009 with Oxycontin. He was in FL during the Pill Mills, and Oxy was cheap and readily available. Oxy made people, life and college tolerable. Andrew often expressed frustration with trying to find people on his intellectual level, so Oxy made him more like everyone else. Andrew tried all drugs, but Oxy was the one that hooked him. He never thought so, of course. He always thought he was in control. Even when he was forced to switch to heroin in 2014, he told an old friend "Heroin is not so bad, it's just like Oxy". But in August 2014, when he took the job promotion in Las Vegas, he thought he could leave heroin behind. He told me "Mom, I never planned to do heroin here. I planned to quit, but I realized I was an addict when I got to Las Vegas and still had to have it." Even at the end, when his life really began to unravel, he still thought he had the upper hand with this drug. He refused long-term treatment, he thought after de-tox he could go back to work. I spend the last 6 days of his life with him, he was clean 19 days. He told me what I wanted to hear - "I don't want to do heroin again, Mom". But he struggled so much, he was so sad and ashamed of what his life had become. On the surface, he was a very successful corporate executive who had everything. In reality, he was a struggling addict who lived for Oxycontin and ultimately heroin. He didn't not want anyone to know. So on a Monday afternoon, 11/10/14, he told me he wanted to attend and AA meeting down the street. I was so excited and happy he was making progress, I dropped him off. One hour later he did not respond to my texts or phone calls. (remember, Andrew was VERY obedient). I knew in my heart what had happened. 1 hour and 45 minutes after I dropped him off, the hospital called. He was found in the bathroom at Petsmart, just down the street. It was too late to save him. He died alone.

Andrew started using drugs in middle school in his hometown of Billerica, Massachusetts at the age of 13. First it was marijuana which he used often 3-4 times a day - starting his day with it before gong to school. He sold marijuana for many years until he graduated to opiates. Like most kids his age, he started with Perc 30's until he discovered that for much less money he could buy Heroin. Andrew relapsed many times and struggled with embracing the 12 steps. It took being arrested in 2014 for possession and trafficking of Heroin and being sent to Middleton Jail to make him realize how serious his addiction had become. He went to a sober house in Portland, Maine where he learned how to live sober. He got a job as a cook at a local restaurant, learned how to do everything on the grill, was proud that he learned and was good at something new, started to work the steps, got a sponsor, attended and spoke at regular meetings, started mental health counseling, joined a gym, was feeling good about himself. Physically, he looked and felt great having gained back some weight that he lost when he was on dope.

Andrew had severe anxiety, even as a child. He was later diagnosed bipolar also. In middle school he began experimenting with alcohol and pot. By the time he was 18 he had tried heroin. The family was helping to get mental health treatment, but medication management was constantly interrupted by jail. Twice he went to rehabs that did not allow psyche meds. When he didn't have insurance, he went a year with no medication. In between homelessness, jail, mandated sober houses, and drug testing, he was hospitalized with psychosis, but discharged to the street after three days because of no insurance. He worked hard at periods of sobriety. On his 30th birthday, three weeks before his death, Andrew told us he was very tired and did not believe his life could ever change. The final days he was clearly not of sound mind, but our attempts to make him see a psychiatric failed. We took him to the ER, but he left AMA. We should have tried harder to get a judge to commit him. I didn't know then what I know now.

Amber started to use or "experiment" with drugs/alcohol at the age of 12..She was able to "slow" it down during her early teens, but really never stopped.. Taking ectasy 13/14 yrs old, snorting coke and molly at 15/16.. And smoking pot thru it all. She went to a handful of counselors between age 13-16.. She was able to go to school, handle a job and move up into leadership/manager positions. But at 19 years old, about 4 months before she passed, you could something was different..when she first ingested heroin.. She died 4 months later, in her room, at her mom's house.. The next morning, I was going to pick her up and take her detox and treatment..

Alana began using drugs at a young age,and like many parents I thought she would grow out of it.Instead she went further into using becoming addicted to opiates. I never belived that we would loose her ,she had tried to change and could be sober for a few months then be right back in the grip of that insanity. Tragically one night she took pills and drank alcohol together and never woke up.

Adam struggled with addiction for over 6 years. He also suffered from severe depression which made breaking this addiction so incredibly difficult. No matter how much love and support Adam had in his life it ultimately would not be enough to save him. Sleeping became impossible for Adam. It would lead to the worst part of his day; waking up where he would have to endure yet another dark day.

Zac's struggles began in Feb 2012 in his freshman year of HS when he suffered back to back concussions. He suffered severe dibilitating migraines as a result. With the insurance we had, we had to follow protocol for the various trial and error of drugs before finding what would help eleviate his immense pain. This left Zac feeling discouraged and frustrated. Finally 5 months later in July 2012 he started to see some relief from taking a drug called Topomax, we had thought we got our old Zac back. It was wonderful to see him smile again. 7 months later in Feb of 2013 I found a note in his room that would suggest that Zac was starting to feel suicidal, this was a side affect of the so called wonder drug Topomax. We quickly took him to crisis for help and took him off the drug immediately since the benefits out weighed the risks. This left Zac back at square 1. Migraines returned full force and worse than ever. I believe this is when Zac decided to experiment with self medicating. First marijuana, then it progressed to online orders, to eventually heroin, which I was unaware of. In June 2015 right before graduation Zac agreed to go to rehab. Zac completed this 30 day program turning 18 while he was there. Came home was doing great going to meetings &obtained; a sponsor, only to relapse within the 1st week. The last facility he completed was in January of 2016. Zac was doing great living in a recovery house, had a job and was working the program. Around Easter he relapsed again and could not forgive himself. The self hate was so great, he was ashamed and wanted so much to stay sober. In May 2016 he moved to MD w his girlfriend, the communication became less & less between him and I. On 7/5/16 which was the last time I spoke to Zac he called to tell me he was coming to Philly to see a doctor for stomach pain on 7/6 & would be coming to me that evening. Zac never made it to us & was found 6 days later in a wooded area in Philly on 7/12/16, we believe he had been gone since 7/6.

Zachary was introduced to percocets at the age of 17, immediately following an ankle injury that sidelined him from hockey. A well-meaning friend gave him a pill to ease the ankle pain and return to his favorite sport. As Zachary would later tell us, he was immediately hooked. Addiction, a progressive disease, took this bright, talented young man from us, turning into a person that we didn't recognize. As the disease progressed, Zachary was introduced to oxy and finally heroin. As parents, we did everything we could think of to help Zachary -- countless detox facilities, outpatient treatment, inpatient treatment, sober homes, individual treatment and suboxone. He tried, he really did but unfortunately, the demon finally won. Zachary had 60 days sober and was living in a sober home when he made the unfortunate decision to use "one more time." The "one more time" took him from us. He died alone in his room. We were never able to say goodbye.

It started in high school with marijuana then progressed to experimenting with other drugs until he settled on heroin as his drug of choice. He was using for months before telling us then he reached out for help in getting clean in January 2013. That began the cycle of getting clean, relapsing, wanting help, then not wanting help until July 2014 when something changed in him and he said he was ready to be serious about being clean. I heard it in his voice, he said "I wanted to get off the merry-go-round", I want to start the next part of my life, sober and happy. He went through detox and to a inpatient/sober living place in FL. He came out strong and went to work at a job he enjoyed, he started making plans about his future. After 6 months clean he wants to come home for the holidays, he thought he could control this. He was met by friends that used, he overdosed that night but was revived. He used again a couple nights later and died.

Bill tried many ways to stop, He went for weeks and months without Heroin but in that time he would be drinking.

He had eight months of sobriety after struggling with heroin, which in the end claimed his life. He found much strength in AA meetings and the 12 steps.

Wes had been crushing and snorting prescription pain pills for the past five or six years. I’m not sure when it began and I’m not sure anyone else can pinpoint that date either. I know I personally refused to believe it when I was told. It’s not something you want to hear about your loved one. He had his own seemingly never-ending prescription from a local doctor in town. A licensed drug dealer. When the disease took hold, he was selling those pills for stronger pills and apparently had moved on to heroin at some point. He only ever talked to me about trying cocaine, and not liking it, and to taking prescription pills. We didn’t have many direct conversations like this though, because he would just get angry and we’d argue. He finally decided to go into rehab on March 7, 2016. I was very proud of him. He was in the facility for a mere sixteen days. He continued with some outpatient work for a couple more days. How could they let him leave so soon when his insurance covered a full thirty days? He talked to his mom about getting Vivitrol shots. They agreed he would try it, but due to his work schedule, he decided he couldn’t go monthly for the shot. He also told me how people can accidentally overdose if they use drugs while on Vivitrol. He explained that they don’t get the high, so they keep using and keep using until they accidentally overdose. I don’t know if he was trying to tell me that was his fear, that he might relapse, or if he was indirectly admitting to me that he was using again. He was using again already, but he was still hiding it well. He was gone less than one month after he got out of rehab. His funeral was two months to the day of his twenty-fourth birthday. But before he left us, we got to spend time with him. Quality time. Everybody that loved him had come together to help him. When he first got out of rehab he was healthy, clear-eyed, and talkative. That time after rehab was a gift from God.

He had been abusing alcohol since he was 10 and prescription drugs and cocaine since he was 14 and got into heroin and crack at 23. He has struggled with depression and anxiety his whole life.

Vincent struggled after finding his wife in bed with his best friend, took to partying. Had a son out of wedlock and another brother, also passed now took his son making matter's much worse. Went through multiple rehabs, one was for 9 months. Nothing seemed to help, he went from a basketball star to an addict in the speed of light. Owning his own business, home, two new cars, lost EVERYTHING, I have lost my family to this epidemic, including three nephews struggling as we speak. Robert passed away a few months ago, the woman he was with waiting too long to call the ambulance so Narcan did not help. He was 58, Vincent died in his arms in 2009 from the OD.

Tyler has been a heroin addict since he was 19 years old. I have tried everything to help him with his addiction. He has been to rehab three times, we've tried the medications, finally I sent him to Dawn Farms Rehab in Ann Arbor where he got clean for 3 1/2 months.

Tricia married a high school football jock who's parents were addicted to meth & crank. She finally left & divorced him, but was so addicted to drugs. She got involved with another guy & they stole checks from the business account & the in-laws & stepfather pressed charges. She was incarcerated & was in a program for nonviolent offenders. She ended up in a co-ed restitution center in Las Vegas. She and another young man walked off the facility and became fugitives. They ended up in Indiana living with young man's friends, dealing drugs. The boyfriend & she were victim of violent crime in October, 2000.

His addiction is sometimes all I can remember of him, it lasted so long. He never wanted help, he was so stubborn, we never knew how to help. I will always regret now knowing how.