Zayne Brendon Balmer

His heart was too big for the lifestyle he was living. He suffered a severe TBI in 11/2011. After that he really struggled with coping & decision making. He was a great father & brother. All kids & animals loved him. He wanted his life to be different but felt like a lost soul. He never believed how important he was to all of us. He stopped caring about himself & life in general. He felt hopeless & nothing could convince him otherwise. Everything could have been so different if he wasn't hit by the SUV. His TBI was hell for him. He also had epilepsy due to brain injury. That was the event that changed everything for him and our immediate family.

The last day I spent with him is my favorite because he died 6 hrs later. I picked him up from work early in the morning. We went shopping at Walmart then to McDonald's drive thru. We ate in a parking lot in my car & just talked. When I dropped him off he gave me his usual hug & kissed my forehead. We told each other I love you & he went inside. I'll miss everything about him so much. My heart is broken without him, my oldest child. I spent over half my life with him.

Everything! His humor, the way he'd scare us, his relationship with his young brother and sister, the random acts of kindness, him doing things to embarrass us in public, his laugh, his jokes, his voice, the way he smelled, his beautiful face, watching him with his daughter & seeing how much she adored him, his presence, his deep conversations, his loudness. I will miss every single thing that made him Zayne. This ache will never go away.

As someone who got dealt one crappy hand after another but still kept trying. As a good father who loved his baby girl. As someone who would defend his family every time. As someone who made mistakes because he was hurting so badly inside. As someone who was worth having in your life. As funny, hardworking, loving,, loved.